I’m not having fantasies about grey, silk ties.
This, despite having read 50 Shades in record time -- while my favorite
fella was on a business trip -- so that he wouldn’t make fun of my heavy
breathing.
No, I am lusting after Rosie the Robot from
“The Jetsons”. I would like her to come live at my house. There is currently a
commercial playing in heavy rotation that offers the next-best-thing: the
Roomba 560, a little box that zips around your house vacuuming all the live long
day. It’s not Rosie, but it’s worth considering.
I am skeptical, sure. But I am also a
sucker for those infomercials and basically any product that wears an “as
advertised on t.v.” sticker. I might be the only one in America who purchased a
“Bump It” and wore it – I’m not proud to say – on special occasions. For an entire year. I say I have caring
friends and family, but I might need to rethink that. Not one of them
discouraged me!
So it might be up to you, virtual
strangers, to save me from myself. You might need to start a petition begging
me not to buy this item and inflict
it on my family. The Roomba 560’s downside could be significant. I can see it
eating the dog’s tail, and really, how will it not get hopelessly mired in the pile of shoes at our back door? I
don’t know.
In the infomercial there are never any
shoes or furry dog tails, but there’s also never any dirt. And this could be
the Roomba’s biggest selling point: a house free of dirt. Every day. Not just
the hour after the cleaning lady has left, and you threaten your family with
exile if they so much as hint at
having lunch at home.
Close your eyes, ladies. Imagine the future
with me: a house free of dirt. Maybe our collective energy can dispel the negativity
of my favorite fella who says, “Why not just put $350 on a shelf? ‘Cause that’s
where your Roomba's gonna sit when it doesn’t work right.”
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