Update Your Space: Before & After Shots

I took the plunge. Not in the Kim Kardashian, marry-a-swaggering-rapper sense. No, the plunge I took was far more permanent than any of that ‘til death do us part stuff.

I painted brick. Lots of brick.

Actually I hired some guys to paint the brick.

And it may be the paint fumes talking, but my advice this week is to take a decorating plunge. You know that part of your house that makes you crazy?

Do something about it. 

Don’t just ignore it and hope you will someday develop great appreciation for 1980s, woodsy family rooms.

You don’t have to be able to swing an entire overhaul either. In our case, a cool, modern, rock-walled fireplace would have looked great, but ‘twas not in the budgetary cards.

Compromise was the answer. Painted brick updates the look without busting the budget, and – bonus! – it provides a great backdrop to highlight artwork from the Dynamic Duo.

Take a look at your space. What change would you really like to make? Maybe it’s a new bedspread or throw pillows or coordinating baskets (in which to stash clutter).

With online sites like overstock.com and discount stores like Home Goods you can make small updates for a small amount. But a small update pays big rewards if it transforms a space from cringe-worthy to smile-worthy. 

Remember this guideline for choices in decorating, not choices in groom as it is above guru girl’s pay grade to figure out how Kim Kardashian is going to make her latest project a little less cringe-worthy. Probably the millions she made from selling the wedding pictures will help with that.

If you don’t have a few extra million laying around, you can still find ways to change it up. Decorate with swagger, guru girls & guys! 

What I Want: A Hologram & Sundance's Cosmic Sandals

So this week’s big news was Michael Jackson’s appearance at the Billboard Music Awards on Sunday night. He sang. He danced. He made those weird, guttural grunting noises like always. 

How is it that celebrities like Jackson have figured out ways to get out of everything bad in life? DUI’s, wrinkles, even death.

Because Michael Jackson has been dead for awhile but his hologram image was alive and kicking on Sunday. It was a little creepy but also effective.

So although I am generally anti-technology, I too would like a hologram. It can represent me at all the places I am expected to be in this month of  chaos. Soccer games and parties, music and dance recitals, end of school field trips and celebrations.

It would be easy to make Hologram Guru Girl. All she would have to do is smile and nod. Because generally this is all I do at these events.

Especially when I’m sitting next to the soccer coach who is detailing elaborate soccer defense strategy. I am the parent who, after 5 years, is still a little unclear on the position of my own player, much less anyone else on the team.

Last week, at a barbecue, conversation turned to junk bonds. Junk bonds, I tell you. Just smile and nod.

This is also what I did last night, at the school musical where the 11 year old made her musical debut as a dancing spoon. It was tough to tell her apart from all the other dancing cutlery. But I was there in the audience.

Smiling. Nodding. And wearing cute sandals.

These are my new favorites because they’re almost as versatile as Guru Girl in May. They can be sporty or artsy. About the only thing they are not is junk bond chic. So I may not have my own personal hologram.

Yet.

But I do have cute sandals that take my multitasking, non-hologramed self all the places I need to go. (Available for around $90 at Sundance.)

Happy summer, guru girls & guys!

The Franco Brothers, "Neighbors" & Pycnogenol: 3 Very Good Things

Guru girl is a sniffling mess these days. Is it a cold? Is it allergies? Who can tell the difference?

It’s like James Franco and his brother. They are practically exactly the same. Except one is starring in that great new movie “Neighbors”, which I hope to see in theaters next weekend.

And the other is taking naked selfies and posting them on Instagram. So while the two look very similar, they are actually very different.

But back to the cold versus allergies topic. I am hoping I have allergies. Because suffering a cold in springtime is the absolute worst. But, just in case it is a cold, I am off to the vitamin store to procure some of this miracle supplement I just read about: Pycnogenol.

This handy, little vitamin cuts cold symptoms practically in half -- from 7 days down to 4 days! And it fixes up your wrinkles and  jet lag. I need no antidote for my jet-setting ways but the rest of it? Heck yes!

Pycnogenol is made from French pine bark. It appears I can’t have springtime in Paris, but I can have springtime with some pine bark from Paris. It’s a close second (again, like James Francos’ brother).

To make your cold recovery even faster, take this trifecta (according to health researchers):

-         30 mg of Zinc

-         200 mg of Vitamin C

-         100 mg of Pycnogenol

Take these babies daily from the start of symptoms for the next 5 days. You’ll be kissing your cold goodbye and your fella hello. (Pycnogenol is available from your local health food store or amazon.com for around $25 per jar.)

Happy springtime to you and your non-stuffy, sneezy, achy head, guru girls & guys!

The Modern Love Note In 2 Easy Steps

Mirror, mirror, on the wall. Who has the most embarrassing mother of all? Am sure this is not what the 11 year old is asking herself in this pic. 

The Kissing Fairy is retiring soon.

Because she has officially gone from making the Dynamic Duo feel loved to making them feel embarrassed.

So the Kissing Fairy is hanging up her wings, which means no longer shall she exclaim,” Does anyone hear that?” before erupting in kissy noises and swooping down on the Dynamic Duo.

But the girls still need to know they’re loved. What is a Kissing Fairy to do? 

Adopt the mirror love bomb, of course!

Instead of mortifying your offspring with public displays of affection, be passive aggressive about it! Scrawl your sweet nothings on a mirror with a dry erase marker. *Bonus!* The writing disappears from the mirror with a quick swipe of Kleenex – unlike lipstick writing, which is too messy and Fatal Attraction-y to qualify for this kind of wholesome exercise in love.

Mirror love bomb that special someone today!