1 Great Family Game For Summer Trips

This is me, on vacation, torturing the 8 year old who has a 

banana phobia. If I'd only known a fun & easy family game to play instead...

Sometimes parenting advice makes me cranky.

Like the recent newspaper piece that said it’s easy to fight childhood obesity: just exercise with your kid 2 hours a day.

What exactly is easy about that?!

Who has an extra 2 hours a day?! Parents or kids?

If we tried to meet this quota, my crew would have to give up home cooked meals in favor of the fastest of fast food – a switch that would actually promote obesity.

No, that “exercise 2 hours a day” is advice that is bad. But here is some that is good. It’s an easy, fun, free, family game! Perfect for road trips, airports and long restaurant waits.

The game is called “I’m Thinking Of A Time When…”

You pick a memorable event from your family’s past and your crew asks “yes” or “no” questions to figure out the event. It looks like this:

Guru Girl: I’m thinking of a time when…

11 year old: Did it happen in Colorado?

GG: No.

8 year old: Did it happen in Costa Rica?

GG: Yes!

Guru Guy: Was it on the beach?

GG: No.

11 year old: Was it at a restaurant?

GG: Yes!

8 year old: Was it when Daddy did the crazy dance to the bananas song?

GG: Yes!

Each round takes surprisingly little time to solve, and kids LOVE it!

You celebrate family highlights and low lights and everything in between.

It reinforces the idea we’re in this together, for better, for worse, crazy banana song dances (and photos) included.

Here’s to making some embarrassing vacation memories, guru girls & guys! 

The Surf & Sand "It" Bag

Took the dog to a new groomer this morning. They had me fill out a questionnaire describing Stanley’s personality. I wanted to write bouncing psycho.

But I didn’t. 

Even though that dog tried to climb out the window of the car on the drive over to the groomer. This was after Stanley leapt into the car via the front seat and somehow managed to turn on the hazards with his tail.

 

I don’t know how to turn the hazard lights off yet because the car is new, and it’s never been in such a hazardous situation before – clearly, because Stanley doesn’t get to ride in it that often.

So there I was wildly reading the driver’s manual to see how to turn the hazards off. Dog panting in my right ear, children screeching in my left ear, because now we’re late getting to art class. When – of course – up saunters our favorite handyman, Henry.

You know those people in your life you don’t see that often but every time you do see them you look utterly hopeless?

Henry is that person to me.

I seem to be in a ridiculous situation every time he comes over for a project. So it was doubly embarrassing when Henry reached through my open window and clicked off the hazard light button. The one in the middle of the dashboard. With the big hazard symbol on it.

Argh.

So I’m not exactly killing it on the home front today. At least in terms of efficiency and grace under pressure.  But I am gonna kill it on the pool front tomorrow. Because I saw this great, new beach bag that is such a good product it does the thinking for you. (Hear that, Honda hazard light designers?)

It’s a pool bag that also acts as a cooler. It’s insulated so your snacks stay cold. But it’s light enough to sling over your shoulder. Here’s how to make it even more clever:

-         Put ice in 3 or 4 giant Ziploc bags. Cozy these around your perishable items. Then, as the day goes on, pour the melted water into a cup and – voila! – it’s a water bottle you didn’t have to haul.

-         Put a pair of scissors in another Ziploc bag. Use them to cut open yogurt tubes and other tricky snack items. Like those plastic prisons Gatoraide six-packs come in. (Who can slide bottles out of those damn things? I mean, other than Henry.)

Follow these 3 steps (1. Get bag. 2. Ice up ziplocks. 3. Add scissors ) and beckon summertime adventure.

Because you’ve got it covered, and you’re keeping your cool (basically the exact opposite of Guru Girl this morning). 

You can get this miracle bag at your local Sam’s Club or Cost Co., bouncing psycho dog not included. (Click this link to go to amazon.com where you can get a similar bag for around $8.)

Happy pool-time fun, guru girls & guys!

2 Great Father's Day Gifts

Brookstone has let me down. So has Best Buy. I’m scared to go into the Apple store. And Father’s Day is in 2 days.

I got nothing. No creative ideas. No fun projects to spearhead. And if I come home with another golf shirt Guru Guy is going to make his other family his favorite – the one he spends weekends and holidays with. I don’t believe for a second he travels a lot for work.

So I went searching online and found a site I’m not entirely sure is for real. It could be a fake site that ostensibly sells items that are funny but no way does anyone actually think they’re real. I am always getting fooled about stuff like this. Like those “people” who think “The Onion” is a real newspaper.

Back to the site-of-the-day, it’s called Likecool.com and the stuff it has is genius for guys. Like the napkin picnic table. Portable, romantic (in a “Lady & The Tramp” way) and funny. Like Guru Guy himself!

Or the lonely tent. Nothing makes my fella grumpier than setting up a tent. This one sets up itself! This would be so handy at the swim meets we’re now attending for the 8 year old.

The only downside is the tent has no windows and sitting by oneself in a windowless tent all day is a bit odd. On second thought, getting branded Swim Parent Weirdo wouldn’t be such a great Father’s Day gift. 

The other item I saw and didn’t like was the dog friendly sleeping bag. It has a special feature where you fasten Fido’s collar to the sleeping bag.

In theory, this keeps him from running wildly around the tent.

In reality, here’s how that would work. Our dog Stanley would hear something menacing -- a bear, a squirrel or a leaf falling -- and that crazy dog would rampage around the tent, dragging the attached sleeping bag and my attached sleeping fella with him. 

That would be really funny to see but perhaps not so funny to experience. 

However, the site likecool.com is both – funny to see and funny to experience.(Click this link to visit www.likecool.com.)

But perhaps I had better leave the site alone for Father’s Day and go back to my tried and true gift: detailing Guru Guy’s car! Because nothing says happy father’s day like a ride with no goldfish shards or juice boxes in it. 

Happy Father’s Day, all!

3 Gotta Get Baby Gifts

I have nothing against diaper cakes, the baby shower standby. But, as you know, I have a thing about spending money on necessities. I believe if an item isn’t fun to buy, it should be free. And diapers definitely fall into this category.

This irrational belief system of mine makes household budget discussions excruciating for my fella, but it also means if you’re a mama-to-be you’re never going to receive something as utilitarian as a diaper cake from me.

I will, however, spend exorbitant amounts on cutesy items. Like wine charms and pig-shaped corn-on-the-cob holders. Is it a spendy item that I’ll use once and then lose forever in the junk drawer? I’m in.

It’s a problem.

But awareness of a problem is the first step to conquering it. So I now confine myself to purchasing cute-but-unnecessary items as gifts for friends.

It fulfills my weird, shopping impulse and kickstarts good times at the party.

So I was very excited when I opened the catalog to Papersource, my favorite knick-knack store. It had not 1 but 3 absolutely adorable, absolutely unnecessary items for a baby. The following, as pictured above:

 -- Baby Glasses for $14.95.

-- Baby Bandana Bib for $22.95

-- Stachifier mustache pacifier for $9.95

Click this link to check them out. (This takes you to paper-source.com where you can read more about these items.)

Get all 3 and your friend will have one tricked out, hipster baby. And that’s really what she’s going to need. And also maybe a newborn who readily sleeps and breastfeeds and is easily entertained by stuff like ceiling fans.

Since she’s probably not going to get a baby who does all that stuff (like the Yeti, they don’t exist), the least you could do is get the hipster stuff. This way motherhood will fulfill some of her fantasies. The cute accessories ones.

Clearly, I’m joking when I say that because motherhood is a pretty rocking gig, even when it doesn’t feature life necessities like sleep.

It does feature a little person you can dress up any way you like. Even in mink coats in June. 

                                        Me, many moons ago, at my own baby shower where I received many favored, dress up items.

Even when that little person becomes a big person, who is heading off to middle school in August. A fact that puts a big, old lump in your throat and your heart. Which your little person knows. 

Which is why she still lets you dress her up in mink coats in June. They just don't fit quite as well anymore.