My New Favorite Show: "Playing House"

Last weekend the 12 year old was hired for her first dogsitting gig. When I say 12 year old I mean it was me and Guru Guy who were hired. Because although the 12 year old accepted the job, the 7 a.m. “wake up and let the dog out” duty fell to us.

Luckily, we both fell in love with the frisky pup in our care.

Which is exactly the way I feel about Emma and Maggie, the frisky heroines of my new favorite t.v. series, “Playing House”.

Emma and Maggie are best friends from childhood. They’re now in their 30s and recent roomies, shacking up in order to raise Maggie’s new baby together in their hometown.

Emma and Maggie are quirky, irreverent and into everything I am: HGTV, romantic comedies and Kenny Loggins hits from the 80s! And they also use inventive lingo that will make you cry in a good way, like referring to those tasteful nursing cover ups as hooter hiders.

I don’t invent lingo like this, but I do abuse the heck out of cool phrases the dogsitter brings home from middle school. After cooking a particularly good dinner, I sometimes shout in victory,”Like a boss!” I am also working on my nae, nae and stanky leg.

But back to the t.v. review -- “Playing House’ is really, really funny. And heartwarming too. Like a really good meeting of your book club. And you don’t even have to squeeze into stylish clothes or fight traffic for the laughs.

Tune into USA network on Tuesdays at 8 p.m. or watch on demand to see for yourself. Any show that has a fantasy sequence of the Property Brothers is worth a 30 minute try! 

6 Super Summer Reads

Yesterday Blake Shelton and Miranda Lambert announced their divorce. The country music superstars are calling it quits. 

Their marital bust up is sad news for them but good news for fans like guru girl. Because there’s nothing like a love-gone-wrong song. I predict they’ll both write many. And Miranda’s will have just the right mix of unhinged vengeance and regret.

Which is exactly how I felt today when I went to tell you all about my favorite new jacket from Boden only to find that it’s sold out. Sold out in less than a month!

So Miranda and I are both women scorned. Yearning for a future that will never be. Me with my Isla jacket. Miranda with Blake.

I’ll get over the Boden betrayal through escape. Into the arms of a good book. Or 10.

Miranda will probably get on with it too. Into the arms of a good boy-toy back up dancer. Or 10.

Here’s my wish list this summer. Please note none of them are named Casper.

Books I Want To Read This Summer*

(*because they're new releases & most reviews say they're good)

A Window Opens by Elisabeth Egan

Bradstreet Gate by Robin Kirman

Among The Ten Thousand Things by Julia Pierpont

Maybe In Another Life by Taylor Jenkins Reid

The Dismantling by Brian DeLeeus

Dietland by Sarai Walker

Happy reading, guru girls & guys!

UnREAL: My New Favorite Show

All week my phone has been lighting up with texts regarding The News.

The break up of Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner. 

Everyone knows how much I love Ben Affleck. Friends thought I might be taking it hard. Or planning to try to get him on the rebound. (Thanks for that text, Uncle Dan. Reminder: I am happily married to your bestie.)

And I am disappointed in Ben. Because Jen seemed really good for him. She’s always shopping at farmer’s markets for God’s sake. So I was rooting for their yin and yang to be the secret ingredient. They could be the celeb couple that makes it.

 I wanted to believe the fairy tale. Except there is no fairy tale. For a romantic like me that’s hard to take. Which is exactly why I stopped watching “The Bachelor” franchise last year. Because in its 15 year history, precisely two of the bachelors had true love on their minds. The rest were thinking about their upcoming gig on “Dancing With The Stars”.

The romantic in me is disappointed by Hollywood love stories. But the cynic in me is not. Which is why my favorite show this summer is “UnREAL”. It’s about the television crew that films a reality dating show suspiciously like “The Bachelor”. Only “UnREAL” shows the behind-the-scenes maneuvering responsible for all the meltdowns and fantasy suite action. 

There’s Rachel, the good-hearted producer coerced into making the unscrupulous show. There’s Adam, the prince allegedly looking for love but really looking for publicity and a paycheck. And then we have the cast of girls. All are competing for a fame that’ll let them write their own paychecks once the season’s done.

At one level the show’s a silly soap opera but at another it’s a morality tale. Which character’s choices are the most despicable? “UnREAL” actually asks some serious questions about the high price of getting ahead and our insta-fame culture.

Plus all the episodes are new this summer, which makes the series much more entertaining to watch than the re-runs everywhere else.

It seems true love can’t be manufactured. But a wicked satire about true love?

Absolutely. Check it out Monday nights on the Lifetime network.

Gotta Read Parenting Book: You Are Not Special

I am very suspicious of French people. Not all. Just the ones who are interviewed by the media and/or publish books.

I suspect these people are not telling the truth about some things. Things like:

-          how often stylish French women wash their hair

-         how stylish French families raise their children

Because I just don’t see how what they say can really be true.

Let’s take hair washing. It has been reported in several reputable magazines that many stylish French ladies choose to wash their hair once a week.

They go to a salon, get it washed and blown out and then allow it to swing free, the rest of the week, with nary a shampoo.

I gave this a try this week. I got my hair cut and blown out on Day 1. It is now Day 3 and my hair looks like I’ve been camping for a month.

Or the “miracles” of French parenting, which get reported on every few years. The latest one says French parents feed their French children the exact same stuff adults eat, which includes delicacies like vegetables and snails (which go by the fancy name of “escargot” but the food stuff remains the same: slimy bugs). And these same parents don’t pay their escargot-eating offspring too much attention.

They certainly don’t do the crazy roundelay of after school kid activities that characterize many American families. Then, it’s always reported that French children are better adjusted, with wider palettes, than many an American child.

I read these things, and it makes me feel guilty.

Like I’m busting my a$$ to have swishy hair and well developed children for no reason. Like this stuff would just happen in a vacuum, and I could have an extra 3 hours every day to eat bon-bons. French ones!

Unless.

Unless these stylish, well-adjusted French foodies are lying.

We need some truth tellers out there. (Even if they’re exhausted.)

Luckily, we have ‘em. I’m in the middle of the best book by a fella who’s not afraid to tell it like it is about parenting and how crazy American culture has gotten about it.

This teacher skyrocketed to fame a few years ago after the commencement speech he gave at his posh private school went viral. It was aimed at graduating high school seniors, and it was entitled “You Are Not Special”.

Wowzers. Tough title and the book (which goes by the same title and just expands on the ideas in the initial speech) is a bit of a tough-love read. But this guy offers a great perspective on what kids really need to grow up healthy and happy. (Note: nowhere in the book does it mention eating escargot).

The book’s not a total downer. Mr. You Are Not Special really likes kids. He wants to see them succeed. And he’s got some tips for us to help get them there. Sadly, the tips aren’t easy. But then again, they never are, for stuff that’s truly worthwhile. Unless you’re French apparently:)  (Click this link to go to amazon.com to order or read more about "You Are Not Special" by David McCullough.)

5 Books You Won't Be Able To Put Down

Have just returned from a quick spring break getaway with the guru crew. 

As always, I loaded my kindle with books. Because there’s hardly anything better than a sunshine vacation filled with pool time, umbrella drinks and book reading!

And this vacation was good, except for the parts that were bad. 

Like when I had to go to the bathroom in the middle of the horseback ride through the desert. Guru girl was not copping a squat behind a cactus. There is modesty to think about. And also rattlesnakes.

The other bad part of vacation was the book reading.

For 12 years I haven’t been able to get through even one book on vacation.

This year I read 3.

Because the Dynamic Duo no longer require me to frolic with them. Indeed, they actively discourage me from frolicking (and also tinkling in the desert).

I have officially achieved Sunshine Vacation Nirvana, the vision of which got me through the toughest, on-call- 24/7 – days of toddlerhood.

And it makes me sad.

How’s that for great cosmic irony?!

Luckily, I read some really excellent books this break that got my mind off the bad stuff. All these books feature heroines a lot more troubled than I am, except for Nathaniel P. which follows a guy who’s a bigger train wreck than the lot of us!

My favorite reads this spring:

1) A Small Indiscretion by Jan Ellison

2) Girl On A Train by Paula Hawkins

3) The Love Affairs Of Nathaniel P. by Adelle Waldman

4)The Paying Guests by Sarah Waters

5) The Vacationers by Emma Straub

Read on, guru girls & guys!

2 Top Books:"We Were Liars" & "The House We Grew Up In"

Am not sure I’m loving the big trend of cut out gowns on the red carpet these days. You know the Golden Globe dresses I’m talking about.

Beautiful girls in dresses apparently tailored by Edward Scissorhands. Huh.

In fashion, cut outs aren’t so hot. But in fiction? Bring them on!

Just finished not 1 but 2 books with suffering heroines whose memories had been hacked. Huge chunks of time simply erased, otherwise known as the memory cut out.

The memory cut out is sad for our heroines but good for us as readers because we can’t put the books down, so eager are we to find out what in the heck happened.

I finished the first book We Were Liars by E. Lockhart in 2 days. It’s technically a young adult title, but the book deals with some very adult themes. And it’s so good it’ll keep you up reading way past the average young adult’s bedtime!

 The book’s about Cadence, a teenage member of the elite Sinclair family, and the apocryphal events that unfold one summer at their island estate off of the Cape. (Trying saying that 3 times fast.)

Why is Cadence at the center of the action, but in retrospect she can’t remember anything about it?

Is she like guru girl when hosting a dinner party, so distracted by possibility of cooking catastrophe that she blanks entire event out? Or is the reason behind her memory loss something more sinister?

The book is an examination of love & loyalty, class & race with a smidgen of betrayal and denial thrown in, just for fun. It ends with the very high cost this wealthy family pays when all these issues collide.(Click this link to check out "We Were Liars" on amazon.com where you can buy it for around $10.)

The House We Grew Up In by Lisa Jewell looks at some of the same themes but through the lens of hoarding. The Birds are a charming, English family, helmed by whimsical & packrattish mother, Lorelei. Childhood for the four Bird siblings is idyllic until something goes very wrong in their teenage years.

What happened to make the family implode? Why won’t Lorelei speak of or even remember it? (Click this link to go to amazon.com to check out more about "The House We Grew Up In", which you can get for around $12.)

 Both these reads are fantastic. Though maybe not quite as fantastic as the Golden Globes, which has its own cast of charmed protagonists with their own doomed fates (cut out gown, anyone?).

Happy reading, guru girls & guys!

Good Read: The Objects Of Her Affection by Cobb

So the Beta fish has died. So have the Aqua dragons.

The dragons are tiny, sea horse-like creatures that come in a toy box, with instructions that remind you the aqua’s are living creatures. So feed them, take care of them and don’t kill them, certainly not in the first week.

The 9 year old is bummed. She’s declared herself a bad pet parent. I know what it’s like to feel you’re a bad parent, just because you got excited and fed your wards, um, 9 times the recommended amount.

Actually that one particular parenting mishap has never happened to me. But it’s about the only one. I can check the box on all the others. I’m a perfectionist that way.

Here’s who else is a perfectionist: Sophie, the heroine of the book I’m currently reading The Objects Of Her Affection: A Novel.

30something Sophie is married to a guy who works in an art museum. They have two, little kids and a too-expensive starter home they just bought.

Sophie struggles to revive not only this historic Victorian but also her career, her marriage and her parenting style. It’s a lot of balls to have in the air, and Sophie’s perfectionist streak won’t let her drop even one.

The story’s set up is chic-lit typical: ambitious mom struggling with responsibilities. We know Sophie. Heck, we may have even been Sophie. But Sophie’s problems mount, and she starts to make choices that are – for lack of a better word – hellawack. (How great is that word? I try to use it as often as humanly possible. Just because.)

Then the intrigue escalates, and the story spins into something far different than a typical, domestic drama.

The book’s been compared to Gone Girl so I’m thinking something really sick &/or titillating happens in it soon. (Possibly in a shower? Possibly to Ben Affleck cast in the husband role when it’s made into a movie?) I joke. I joke.

But am thinking there’s going to be some twisted stuff happening in this seemingly benign, family drama. Twisty, turny stuff that makes you question the meaning of identity, family, loyalty and love. All good themes to explore this holiday season when cooped up in a house with your own dysfunctional family!

Hope the holiday season is treating you well and brings you much joy and peace and no beta fish, aqua dragons and/or their accompanying drama ;) 

If you're really on the "nice" list and get time to read, give The Objects Of Her Affection a try! (Click this link to go to amazon.com where you can get this title for around $11.)

Everything I Never Told You: A Good Read

Today is the first day of school -- brand new schools -- for the Dynamic Duo.

The girls walked out the door this morning, pretty unflappable. Even though the 8 year old said she had butterflies in her stomach and “Mom, they’re barfing”.

With head held high, she took her barfing butterflies right into 3^rd grade where her goals for the year are: not get in trouble and not eat any ham sandwiches.

I’ve been a wreck all day. And for much of the last week as well.

Change and new routines and middle school are all hard for me. Like they are for everyone.

I’m trying not to bring my angst to the table. Am sure I’m overcompensating with great amounts of fake perkiness. 

But the Dynamic Duo probably know what’s up. Because kids see through that stuff in an instant.

When you say,”Oh, okay. It’s okay.” in that tone? That’s when I know it’s really not okay and somebody’s hurt or there’s a big problem.

This is what the 11 year old said to me earlier this summer, and the worst part about it is that she’s exactly right.

It’s unnerving to be this known. Especially when you’re a person who tries to hide her neurotic tendencies!

But it’s worse if your family doesn’t know you at all. Which is the idea behind Everything I Never Told You by Celeste Ng. This book is a beautifully written account of a family unraveling.(Click this link to go to amazon.com to view more info about this book. Available for around $10.)

It’s less a murder mystery – although one character’s death drives much of the plot – and more an examination of family expectation.

What’s the cost of meeting these expectations? What’s the cost of failing? 

Through the struggling Lee family, Ng answers these questions and poses some more that will make you think long after you finish this read.

The book’s ostensibly about a mild mannered college professor, his wife and children. But it’s really about how parental hopes and experiences shape future generations, in ways good and bad.

At first there’s not a lot of guru girl perkiness here. The characters have to give up pretend and see themselves as they really are, warts and all, before the message of hope ultimately shines through.

But at its core, despite the set up, this is a hopeful story. Just like new beginnings can be hopeful and positive. Even if they involve middle school, barfing butterflies and wackadoo mothers.

Happy reading, guru girls & guys!

3 Great Book Recommends & Good Reads website

This is me on overload or perhaps this is me cleverly thinking up yet another password for yet another account. 

I am on password overload. The passwords -- for my social media & shopping providers alone -- would fill a phone book.

For Manhattan.

Some people use the same password for everything. I resisted this impulse, believing that if hackers got one password they would then have free and easy access to everything in my life.

And they can have my Target account, but my Wine Country Gift Baskets, J. Crew and Safe Splash Swimming? Not gonna happen.

These accounts are all encrypted with different passwords, passwords so secret not even their owner can remember – or use – them.

I am so irritated by this whole password issue that for months I refused to join one more thing.

And then, not one, but three different people told me about “Good Reads”. It is a website that, of course, requires a password. This site lets you connect with your reader friends. You list and rate the books you’ve currently read. You get to see what your friends have read and recommend. Click this link to check it out. goodreads.com

I like this idea a lot. Because in addition to never being able to remember my passwords I’m also never able to remember the books I’ve recently read. So when someone asks me for a recommendation I’m usually struck dumb.

This leads the person to believe “Us Weekly” is the only thing I read on a regular basis. While it is true this is my favorite reading material, it is not my only reading material. I also read a lot of literary fiction, self help and 5^th grade book reports.

Here are some recent reads I recommend. (Kindly note none of them are about the solar system.)

1.      Code Name Verity by Elizabeth Wein

This Young Adult book is about 2 plucky heroines in World War II. One is a pilot, the other, a spy. The book is about friendship, loyalty and courage under fire. It’s also about torture and the unthinkable choices war forces on even the most irrepressible of teenagers.

2.    The Golem & The Jinni by Helene Wecker

Picture New York City circa 1910 and the masses of new immigrants arriving daily. Now imagine some of them aren’t human. One is a genie, recently emancipated from his bottle. The other is a young lady, constructed magically from earth and wishes.

These two have got new immigrant problems and then some.So do all their neighbors and friends. It’s a multi-layered story that stays grounded in very human questions of love and belonging, despite its otherworldly plot.

3.    Still Points North by Leigh Newman–

This is a memoir about the author’s fractured Alaskan childhood. It lures us in with a National Geographic outdoor adventure angle. The author shares plenty of suspenseful Girl versus Tundra adventures.

But it’s the story about the author’s search for identity and belonging that really grips us.

Happy reading, guru girls & guys. And check out Good Reads. May the site be good enough to make the password ordeal worth it!

Movie Reviews: "That Awkward Moment" & "The Monuments Men"

Everyone here at Chez Guru has a crush on Shaun White. The 8 year old likes his cheekbones. The 10 year old likes his hair. My fella likes his “in the pipe” daring.

Who knew the Olympics could be so interesting?

We are hooked. 

We even like the Skeleton, possibly the most boring, televised sport. At our house it’s not boring because the 10 year old has come up with a Skeleton dance move that she does during commercial breaks. It mimics the shaking bottoms of our favorite Skeleton athletes, and it is awesome.

So guru girl is having a media moment these days, and it’s even extended to the big screen. I’ve seen not one but two movies in the past month. 

Saw “That Awkward Moment” – the Zac Efron movie -- on opening night. My fella and I were the only patrons over the age of 18 in the theater. Because the movie is about a group of 20something guy friends as they grapple with growing up.

My guy and I could relate to, oh, none of it anymore. Because it’s about hook ups and bar scenes and the bittersweet magic of love in your 20s. From the guy perspective.

So it also includes bathroom humor, nudity and lots of “men are from Mars” moments. Let’s just say the boy approach to romance is perplexing. The movie explores that with dialogue and plot twists that are, at times, witty.

But the movie’s best moments were captured in the trailer, which you can watch, for free, when it plays during the Olympics.

You can watch the trailer and juxtapose Shaun White’s face onto Zac Efron’s body and think how much better the movie would be if they had just cast Shaun and featured a Yolo flip or two.  

The other movie I saw, which can’t be saved if it featured a hundred Yolo flips, was “The Monuments Men”. This is George Clooney’s latest directorial effort. 

He also stars in it, obscuring his smoldering good looks with a wispy little pencil mustache. That was George’s first mistake in this movie, but not his last.

The movie’s about a group of World War II soldiers charged with protecting and finding great European art. Hitler’s stolen a bunch of it and hidden it. But where?

It’s up to George Clooney’s group of ragtag soldiers (art-wise civilians recruited to form this elite team) to figure it out.

There were some amusing moments and dialogue, but, not one love scene. Not even a love interest. In a movie with George Clooney. Talk about a crime!

The movie was also confusing. You were supposed to be amazed by the cleverness and daring the team showed in getting behind enemy lines and finding the stolen art. 

But these parts were awfully vague. The soldiers would just miraculously get a tip about the art, arrive at its location and exchange meaningful glances. 

This was almost as confusing and frustrating as the 20something man’s approach to dating!

So neither movie earned a gold medal in my book. But like Shaun, I’m ready to shake off my disappointment and look to the future and the greatness it holds, specifically greatness in the form of Colin Farrell and his new movie “Winter’s Tale”. 

It features romance, intrigue and not one man wearing skinny jeans or a mustache. Ingredients for a gold medal movie indeed.

Happy movie viewing, guru girls & guys! 

Read This: "The Circle" by Dave Eggers

This probably won’t surprise you, but I am a big conspiracy girl. I once discovered – completely by accident – that conspiracy theory is kryptonite to cocktail party conversation.

Happily, I discovered this at a friend’s wedding, when I was stuck talking to her uncle, the most boring, long-winded man on the planet. When I threw my conversational nugget about conspiracy theories into the mix, he made up an excuse to get away from me.

I was equal parts offended and psyched. Which was the exact same reaction I had to the book I just finished, which also – coincidentally – touches on conspiracy theory.

The book in question?

The Circle by Dave Eggers.

Mostly, The Circle deals with the “a ha” moments our heroine, Mae, has when she lands a job at a company that bears a striking resemblance to Facebook. Mae’s company is basically a fictionalized Facebook, a start up where legions of hip, young things labor to connect all via their social media site that’s everything to everyone.

The company’s aim is to create a better society through surveillance. Think nanny cam on global scale. There are cameras everywhere, recording everything, with a vast audience of viewers watching, “liking” and controlling the results.

While this “smile, you’re on camera” state may help stop many human rights abuses, it’s creating a few too. The ethical questions Eggers covers are broad. What are the moral implications of a world where everyone and everything is known?

But just as your head starts to hurt from thinking about this stuff, Eggers throws in an issue that’s downright tawdry. Such as, who owns the digital rights in a hook up situation? Mae foolishly gets carnal with a coworker who records and posts the action online.

Is this an ethical breach or much ado about nothing? Shakespeare would be mystified by this brave, new world where the rules on romance and everything else have been rewritten. Is the technology Mae’s company offers the best thing to happen to humanity or the worst?

Read and discuss. Or read, discuss and, with your vocal opinions on the issue, scare off your friend’s boring uncle at the next family gathering.

Happy reading, guru girls & guys! (Click this link to go to amazon.com to learn more about "The Circle", available for around $12 for e-readers.)

2 Top Titles: "The Husband's Secret" & "The Silent Wife"

 

Clearly I’ve been watching too much “Homeland”. Because when I found out every important political leader from every important country will be at the funeral for Nelson Mandela this morning, I got worried.

It doesn’t seem to be a good idea to have all these important people – and Oprah! – gathered together in the same place.

What if there’s some kind of terrorist event? Who will run the world then? And the Oxygen network?

I blame these paranoid thoughts on my “Homeland” obsession, but books could also be the culprit. I just finished two of them that were based on the same disturbing premise: most fellas are up to no good (and some women too!). Especially if they’re attractive, successful and good with kids!

There are four, interwoven storylines in The Husband’s Secret by Liane Moriarty. They’re all hook you in pretty much immediately because you really like the characters – the girls and guys both – so you want to find out what’s roiling the waters of their seemingly happy, suburban lives. Let me tell you. The secret is a total shocker, one that not even paranoid me guessed!

The Silent Wife by A.S.A. Harrison plays with the same concept. Only in this book, Harrison leads with the disturbing truth: successful therapist in her early 40s kills her own husband. Harrison spends the rest of the story showing us how it got to that point. Even though we know how it ends, the story somehow manages to be both suspenseful and gripping.

Both books ask you to rank bad choices. It’s like that ethics game where you have to rank who is the worst in terms of ethical flaw. Can good people do very bad things? Are those choices ever justified?

So many moral quandaries! The books are like an episode of “Lost” without the confusing time travel. For a good, quick read try either book. They will raise your paranoia level but not about polar bears.(Click this link to go to amazon.com to learn more or order "The Silent Wife" and "The Husband's Secret". )