1 TED Talk Gwyneth Should Watch & You Too

 

Last week “People” magazine named Gwyneth Paltrow world’s most beautiful woman. It ignited a firestorm of criticism from internet haters who claim Gwyneth embodies many things but most beautiful is not among them.

 

Apparently, dozens of celebrity polls have been taken, and in addition to being ranked most beautiful, Gwyneth Paltrow is also ranked most hated.

 

Who exactly is participating in these polls? I’ve received robocalls about politicians but not one from a robot asking me my opinion about beautiful and/or annoying celebrities. This is a call I would definitely pick up and spend 10 minutes of my life on!

 

Here is why I think Gwyneth has so many haters. It has to do with vulnerability, specifically the fact that Gwyneth seems to have none. Just like she has no body fat, roots or addiction to carbs, Gwyneth also has no vulnerability. She appears impervious to all these perils that befall us mere mortals. So we hate on her.

 

Because vulnerability is good. We like our celebrities beautiful and flawed. Sandra Bullock reigned as America’s Sweetheart for so long because she was beautiful but also plagued by her union with a bad boy (idiot ex-husband Jesse James). There is a long tradition of this. (See Meg Ryan and her now ex-husband Dennis Quaid. Reese Witherspoon and Ryan Phillippe.)

 

We like our celebrities flawed so we can “relate” to them.  Never mind the fact that this, in itself, is a flawed concept. How much can we really relate to a woman who makes 15 million per film, has a raft of live-in help and is happy to live in a house with 6 bathrooms because she’s never had to clean even one of them?

 

So Gwyneth needs to quit appearing perfect and get herself some vulnerability (and perhaps Scrubbing Bubbles). I’m not the only one who thinks so. Dr. Brene Brown agrees that vulnerability is really, really good. It is, in fact, the key for everlasting happiness. Not just for Gwyneth Paltrow. But for all of us.

 

Dr. Brown is an important scientist busy figuring out the social implications of stuff like vulnerability. She’s also a really great storyteller. You know how much I love TED talks. Dr. Brown has a tremendous one. In under 10 minutes she’ll tell you why vulnerability is the answer to personal growth. She’ll do it in a way that will make you laugh and make you think. (Click this link to go to the TED talk on vulnerability by Dr. Brown.)

 

Watch it on your lunch break today. Gwyneth Paltrow, I think you should do this too. And also eat some carbs. If you do both these things, you’ll love yourself more and America will too.

Up Your Style Game: The Athleta Anytime Anorak

Here is my fashion problem. I buy clothes for the life I lead 10% of the time. Not the one I lead 90% of the time. So when I look in my closet and wail, “I have nothing to wear.” 90% of the time that is a very true statement. Because my closet is chock full of silk halter tops, fitted blazers, pencil skirts and slingback sandals.

 

These are great items to wear on date night to a bistro or a GNO or book club. But they’re not such great items to wear when teaching students how to diagram a sentence or driving the soccer carpool or messing up the nightly dinner.

 

I am keeping my new mantra “Buy clothes for the 90% life you lead” in mind as I peruse the cute, new trench coats they’re showing for spring.

 

Every year I want one. Every year I am drawn to the one that is bright green and fitted. Every year I do not buy it. But only because spring is  a very short season out West. Plummeting temperatures quickly give way to scorching ones, a fact that is inconvenient weather-wise but very convenient for my pocketbook as it saves me from buying a highly inappropriate coat.

But this year we’re actually having a spring. So of course I actually want to purchase a trench coat. But I am reminding myself that the fitted, bright green trench coat wouldn’t match anything I wear 90% of the time.

Here’s what would be much better instead: The Athleta Anorak. 

It would look great over bootcut jeans and a crisp, white shirt (my go to uniform for work). It would look great over black, skinny jeans and a boatneck sweater (my everyday life uniform).

It’s not so fancy that I’ll feel like my hair and makeup need to be perfect before I can put it on. We all have clothes like that, right? They’re the ones that never get worn because we so rarely have time for the perfect hair and makeup required for the item to look good.

This anorak ups your style game even if all you’re sporting is a gray hoodie and grayer circles beneath your eyes, from the late night spent watching “Downton Abbey” on continuous loop.

Because we all have have those gray days. With the Athleta Anorak on top, your gray hoodie Saturday turns into the kind of Stylish Saturday sure to make even Lady Mary Crawley proud. (Click this link to go to the athleta site to see the athleta anytime anorak, available for $118.)

How To Master A Tough Task

I’m not one to change my behavior based on statistics. But I recently read a really disturbing one that you’d better believe is gonna alter some choices around here.

A blogger is supposed to spend 20% of her time on content and 80% of her time on marketing/social media.

 

Argh. I have been doing the exact opposite of this statistic. If the exact opposite looks more like a 98/2% split. How is it that statistics are still tripping me up when I’m this far out of college and not regularly skipping the 8 a.m. statistics class?!

 

I never did fix my statistics problem in college, although I did start attending class. This happened after my dad had a heart-to-heart with me and explained the basic economics of college. He did this in terms his fashion-crazy, math-impaired daughter could understand. He said, “Every college class you skip is like throwing away a pair of Guess jeans.”

 

Basically, he scared me straight. Just like the effect this blogging statistic is having on me right now! I may start featuring more photos and short commentary. Or maybe I’ll post less frequently, just while I get up and running with this whole “remember to check Facebook more than once in a blue moon” schedule. I promise you my social media strategy is much more comprehensive than just this item. Probably.

So it may take some time. I appreciate you guys sticking with me and still checking the guru girl page, despite the fact that I won’t be blasting you every other day.

This social media task has to be like focusing on a muscle you’re not used to working. Yes, when you’ve spent a winter being a couch potato, doing a billion situps is a painful time suck. But it’s worth it when you’re able to slip on that pair of Guess jeans you’ve saved from college, right?

What life-enriching task have you been putting off? I can’t be the only one here who is this set in her ways. For you, is it cleaning the basement? (Although I don’t know if this qualifies as exactly life-enriching.) Filing that mass of paperwork? Taking that Zumba class? Do tell!

 

Why Crafting Space is The Answer *

*to a problem you didn't even know you had...

I love HGTV as much as the next girl. The design shows are particular favorites. But I fear they’ve done us a disservice. There’s now an entire generation of us with the belief that our houses need to look HGTV-ready. All the time. Despite the fact there are no hunky carpenters or camera crews lurking in our kitchens.

In HGTV’s mania for clean and orderly, I think they’ve taken some of the fun out of our houses. Remember kindergarten and finger painting? How about the last time you baked cookies with a kiddo?

Fun is messy. Fun is disorganized. Fun is unrestrained. That’s kind of the whole point.

 

I went to a girls’ night out last weekend hosted by a gal from school whom I hadn’t met before. She has a great house, an even greater margarita machine and guess what else?

 

She has a crafts room. Yes. An entire room devoted to crafts. It was bright and cheerful and filled with crafts stuff. I was struck by how excited we all were about it. We were a diverse group, united by only a few common things: our love for our first graders, our love for the margarita machine and our love for this crafts room!

 

Most of us have a creative impulse. Maybe it takes different forms (quilting, jewelry making, decorating, baking, scrap booking etc.), but it’s there. Maybe we don’t all have enough space to deck out a crafts room. (The party host laughed that she decided to have a crafts room instead of a guest room!) But we need to make the space in our lives and our houses to indulge the creative impulse.

 

Carve out a corner in the family room for it. Make peace with the fact this is part of your house that is messy and disorganized. Don’t frantically clean it up at the end of every creative session. Tell yourself this is a sign of life in your house. Because that’s what houses are for. They aren’t supposed to be sterile set pieces. Houses are where you live your life. The happiest ones show that.

 

If creative clutter on display is an absolute deal breaker for you, try this instead: You know that formal dining room you rarely use? Repurpose it. Put your creative gear in some heavy duty baskets (make sure you get the kind that have lids). Store the baskets in the dining room on the floor and bust out your creative gear when time allows. (Make sure you put a plastic table cloth in too to protect your table.)   

 

 

The act of creating takes us out of ourselves. In that moment we’re not about our jobs or our kids or our efficient life managing strategies. We’re lost in the moment. And sometimes getting lost is the best way to find an important part of yourself.

 

If you have a crafting area part of your house or ideas to share, send me a pic. I’ll share them in a future post. Keep up the creativity, guru girls & guys!

Photo credits:

 Pic 1: Actual photo of my sink, after the 2012 Gingerbread House Debacle

Pic 2: The crafting corner at our house. Yes, I have OCD about stuff being put away. But not in this corner.

Pic 3: The formal dining room that we use 3 times a year. Look at how unobtrusive those crafts baskets are at the bottom of the frame. This would totally work as a crafting area too.

One Very Good Vacuum: The Dyson Digital Slim DC44 Animal

So it’s come to this. I am lusting after a vacuum cleaner and seriously contemplating spending big bucks on it. This is how serious I am: I’m also contemplating giving up my weekly Panera dinner with the Dynamic Duo in order to fund this vacuum acquisition.

 

I love Panera. I love not cooking dinner in the middle of the week. I might love this vacuum more. It’s a Dyson, which we all know makes it the Muhammed Ali of the vacuum world, i.e. undisputed champion but also slow and heavy. This new vacuum model is basically Sugar Ray Leonard, i.e. just as powerful, but lightweight (and also cordless!) (Click this link for more information about the Dyson Digital Slim DC44 Animal). It's available at Bed, Bath & Beyond for around $400. 

 

I’m undecided about the purchase. I have a deeply held belief that household maintenance items should be free since they are simply necessary and not fun at all. I once used this logic in a budget discussion with my fella when we first got married.

 

I argued the grocery bill shouldn’t count in the budget because food doesn’t count as a fun purchase. It’s just a necessary purchase, for, you know, survival.  As you can imagine, this argument didn’t go over too well with my fella who is a Midwesterner and thus very practical, about things like budgets and snow.  

 

Over the years I’ve gotten more practical about basic economics. I get that vacuums aren’t free just because we’d like them to be. Just like carpets aren’t dog-hair-less, despite my ardent wishes.

But the Dyson Digital Slim DC44 Animal could fix my carpet problem. Now if only there was something to fix my budget outlook. I bet my fella would pay big bucks for it.

Strength

It’s hard to know the conversation to have with your kids sometimes. There are the biggies that we’re prepared for. The changing bodies talk and the sex talk are ones we dread, but we know will come up. Then there are the conversations we’re not prepared for. The bombing at the Boston Marathon, the school shooting in Newtown, the Sandusky sex abuse scandal.

 

Do you tell your kids about it?

How young is too young to know?

If you do tell your kids, what do you say?

If you don’t tell your kids and they hear it from someone else, is that worse?

I don’t want my kids to be scared to go out into the world. But I don’t want them to be trusting innocents either. Because the world we live in means they have to have street smarts. They can’t trust that everyone is good. Because that’s just not true.

 

They need to have some protection. And it’s protection that I can’t give because I’m not with them all the time. The only real protection I can offer is knowledge. But how do you offer knowledge without fear?

 

Fear can overwhelm, and it can paralyze, and it can distort. It can make us feel like the world is bad and getting worse. It can stop us from chasing our dreams and taking the risks necessary to make those dreams happen.

But knowledge can make us strong. It can temper the fear. A kid might still be afraid about a fire breaking out in the house, but she’ll feel better if she has knowledge about what to do.  

 

It’s hard to know the right age to offer knowledge about stuff so much darker than a house fire. It’s hard to tell a kid what to do when it’s so much more complex than “stop, drop and roll”.

 

I don’t know the answer. I just know that our hearts are with those affected by the Boston Marathon bombing. You are in our hearts and thoughts today. Be strong.  

The Reason Kids' Etiquette Classes Exist

Because sometimes you hear stuff like this.

“If you toot on me, you’re disqualified and the round goes to me.”

 

Clearly we’re going to have to take multiple sessions of the etiquette class. Do you think they’d give me a discount?

1 Great Travel Site For Families: Ciao Bambino

A recent Facebook post from my friend T read, “Anyone have any good hotel recommendations for Paris?” It is a testament to how much I like T that I didn’t delete her from my friends’ list right then and there.

Clearly, there are some people -- like my friend T -- who lead the kind of lives where “making Parisian hotel reservation” really is an item on their “to do” list.

I am not this sort of person these days. My weekly “to do” list is a good deal less glamorous. In fact, each week it’s usually headlined by this item: “scrape dog droppings off bottom of child’s shoe”. Because each week I conveniently never get to this item so it transfers from one “to do” list to the next. In the meantime, I just keep buying new shoes for the Dynamic Duo. It is not a good practice.

But here’s what is a good practice: planning vacations (the getaways that, duh, get us away from tedious chores like dog sh*%  shoe scraping).  And here’s just the site to help you do it: Ciao Bambino.(Click this link to visit ciaobambino.com.)

If you’ve got kids and you’re planning a future vacation, you’ve got to visit this site. It’s chock full of tremendously helpful information, the kind that talking with a tour operator on the phone for half an hour won’t get you.

For instance, my family friendly Africa tour planner didn’t tell me to look only for fenced-in camps in Africa. She didn’t remind me that Botswana is malaria-country so that means malaria pills and the joys of having a 7 year old swallow a pill for the first time.

But the writers of Ciao Bambino did. They know the kinds of questions that even Type A moms don’t know to ask. For instance, they know the fence in a fenced in camp will keep the larger, deadlier animals away from your tent window at night, making midnight bathroom excursions so much less suspenseful.

They know that going on safari with a child younger than 8 years old will make you so crazy you might just throw yourself to the hippos outside your tent window (at the fenceless camp) on purpose.

This is a great site. It offers tips and advice for destinations across the United States and the globe. I’m pondering an African safari some time in our future. The trip is in the “fantasy but could become reality” stages now. Ciao Bambino is helping me get closer to making this trip a reality (and dozens of others too).

Even if I don’t get to go for a few more years, I’m already reaping the rewards. Experts say the anticipation of a vacation is as good for us mentally as the actual vacation days are. That’s great news because I’m already anticipating away. My mental state is going to be so endorphin-steeped by the time I actually go to Africa that they can bring on those fenceless camps and malaria pills. I shall laugh in the face of danger (and large hippos too).

In the meantime, happy traveling guru girls and guys. Have a great time in Paris, T! Don’t forget to send guru girl a postcard.

Bask In Some Beachy Waves: The Pro Beauty Tools Curl Wand*

 

 

 

Beachy waves are all the rage for hair these days. Nothing says “carefree girl at the beach” like this style, but here’s the rub. Though they look like they’re achieved by frolicking in the sea all day and sunning yourself on a beach blanket with your best girlfriends, this is not how the process works at all!

The procurement of carefree beachy waves is a lot more time consuming and a lot less fun. But the end result is worth it because it’s a great way to change up your look without cutting off even an inch of hair.

 

Beachy Wave “How To” Guide (also many tutorials available if you google it):

1.      Work a curl enhancing styling cream through wet hair. This is important because the cream will help protect your hair from the piping hot heat you’re about to apply to it. I like Catwalk Curls Rock Curl Booster (available at drug stores) but any kind will do.

 

2.    At Target or a similar store get yourself a new-fangled curling iron, the kind that purposely does not have a top bar that clamps down on your hair. Instead this new curling iron just has a lone barrel.

 

 

     There’s one version that sells for $200. This is ridiculous. I got mine for around $20, and it works great. (The Pro Beauty Tools Curl Wand is available on amazon.com for around $24.)

 

This curling iron’s modern design is the key to achieving the unstructured curl that makes the beachy wave so, well, beachy. This design is also what makes using this tool so tricky. You wrap a section of your hair around the barrel and hold it there for about 10 seconds or until your hair starts to sizzle. That sizzle sound is bad. Release your hair immediately if you hear it.

 

 

The other bad thing about this new design is if you are a little bit clumsy (like me) or in a rush (like me) you run the risk of burning yourself with the curling iron. This is very bad because the modern curling iron gets way hotter than a traditional iron.

 

Get yourself centered and calm before attempting this hairstyle. Give yourself lots of time and whatever you do, do not give into the 7 year old’s demand that you play beauty parlor. No good can come of a miniature stylist and a piping hot styling tool.

But a lot of good can come of this hairstyle.

 

3.    Curl it up and see for yourself. At the end, make sure to set it with your favorite high-power hairspray. And your carefree curls will last 2 days.

 

The sunny outlook, inspired by your new ‘do, may last even longer!

8 Healthy Snacks That Don't Suck

 

I have become a candy curmudgeon. This is a sad state of affairs for someone who once jammed an entire pouch of “Big League Chew” ( a creatively named chewing gum) in her mouth on a dare. I blame our excessive consumption culture. If a little candy is good, a lot is better. This seems to be the idea at every major holiday and at all the birthdays in between. The Dynamic Duo see holidays as giant candy grabs, and who can blame them? They are!

We’re not going back to Christmas days of olde when a nectarine was a score. So fed up parents need to take a stand. Responsible ones let their kids binge on their Easter baskets for a week, and then they ditch the candy.

Conflict averse ones, like me, allow candy craziness for a few days before hiding the loot (for later parental binges, of course). Moderation in all things is a good mantra, but it means you gotta represent in the healthy snacking department the other 335 days of the year.

I offer some healthy snacks, vetted by the Dynamic Duo, instead of whacked out food editors who tell us the worst kind of lies, expensive and time-consuming ones! Note: the only bad part about this list is you have to go to Whole Foods to get most of these snacks, and you know how I feel about Whole Foods.

1.      Seaweed chips. They’re paper-thin and delicious, according to the 10 year old who likes virtually nothing healthy, except these.

 

2.    Crunchmaster Multi-Grain Crackers. These are crackers that taste chip-like. They’re gluten free, and you can get ‘em at Target. Score!

3.    Edamame. Bean pods that are a taste sensation, fun to eat and ready in 3 minutes after a zap in the microwave.

4.    Grapes & Oranges. Keep a bowl on the counter at all times, for bodily health and kitchen décor!

5.     Almonds. Heart healthy and Dr. Oz loves ‘em.

6.    Planter’s Trail Mix Energy Mix. These are great, little on-the-go packs of nutty goodness. Kind of like our 7 year old!

7.     Organic Beef Jerky. I included this at the 7 year old’s insistence. Healthy and will make you very popular with the family dog.

8.    Apples & Peanut Butter. A no-brainer, I realize. But sometimes it’s just good to be reminded of the obvious.

 

Here’s to healthy snacking and not eating another Peep for a year, guru girls & guys!

Craigslist Tips: The Sequel

Don't let your burkini lay around, collecting dust. Sell it on Craigslist!

 

I’m supposed to be writing a blog post, but I got distracted by the latest edition of “People” magazine, which was just begging me to read it. There are questions that need answering.

How is Princess Kate doing with her pregnancy?

Did Christina Aguilera really lose a bunch of weight or is it a styling trick?

Is Miley Cyrus still engaged?

The answers are: fine, it’s a styling trick and yes.

I wouldn’t know that if I hadn’t taken the time to read the entire issue just now. Because my friends are hopeless. They are a busy, high-achieving bunch, but not in the field of celebrity dirt. But perhaps I shouldn’t complain, as perhaps this is exactly why they are friends with me.

I am an expert in celebrity dirt (with sideline expertise in parenting mishaps). And I share my information freely… kind of like my friends who are experts in Craigslist. These friends recently gave me such a plethora of Craigslist information I had to break it into two parts. Here is Craigslist Part II.

Craigslist Tips If You’re Selling

1.      You can get rid of almost anything on Craigslist. People will buy stuff you thought you had to call 1-800-GOT-JUNK to get rid of. I have actually paid money to this outfit to take away weird stuff from our basement. Grrr… why didn’t I just Craigslist it all?

My friends brag that they even sold a bunch of paving stones from their garden. The buyers not only bought the pavers, they dug them out of the garden themselves. Clearly, my friends’ Craigslist ju ju is strong. I am a beginner and can’t hope for such success, but if someone – anyone – would buy the cost-the-earth, blinged-out tricycle that’s been sitting in our basement for 3 years, I would be psyched.

2.    Don’t offer an item for free. Charge at least $5 so you get queries from qualified buyers. If you offer an item for free, the Craigslist crazies come out. You will get way too many e-mails. And these aren’t even serious buyers. Just people who like free stuff and have a lot of time on their hands to e-mail. (This descriptor also applies to me, but I’m sure Craigslist crazies are far less charming.)

3.    Provide a picture with the item you’re selling. Visuals sell, baby. And also babies and breasts, according to Advertising 101… which brings us to our next point, which is:

4.    You don’t need breasts to sell on Craigslist, but it helps. Apparently, female sellers get a far greater response rate than male sellers. This is according to the personal experience of my friends who are married to each other. When it’s the wife selling the item, the response rate is greater. So if you’re coupled up, the one of you with lady parts should be listed as the seller.

 

5.      And lastly, if you have a difficult-to-pronounce name, pull a Prince and change it for your listing. On Craiglist people respond better to generic names, i.e. Bambie is better than Bartholemew.

In sum, Craigslist users like photos, women and easy-to-pronounce names. These also seem to be the guiding principles behind men’s magazines. (A handy pneumonic device to help you remember these Craigslist tips.)

Happy selling, guru girls & guys!    

Clutter Bust & Make Some Bank: Craigslist For Dummies

Guru Girl is on a high tech roll. Not only have I figured out Twitter and Snapfish, I am going to tackle Craigslist.

Confession: I have always thought Craigslist was the territory of “massage” seeking murders. Because a few years ago I read about a Boston guy who was using Craigslist to do these very things! But friends tell me I’ve been too quick to write Craigslist off. There are lots of users with neither “massage” nor murder on their minds.

Craigslist is basically an online garage sale.(Click this link to visit craigslist.) If you’re looking to, say, buy a toaster or sell a toaster, Craigslist is the place. Here’s why, according to my friends, who are Craigslist gurus.

1.      You’ll get a good deal.

2.    You’ll unclutter your house and make some cash.

3.    You’ll meet interesting people.

4.    You’ll help save the environment. Because why buy a new toaster when you can get a perfectly good, old one?

I trust these friends, who are still married to each other, despite their many Craigslist adventures, which have netted them items ranging from an electric guitar to a hot tub to a boat!

Here are their tips for using Craigslist if you’re buying:

1.      When viewing an item, go with somebody (in case you run into a seller who is creepy). Also, if you’re buying something you don’t know much about (like a guitar), bring along an expert friend. 

2.    You always pay in cash so remember to hit the ATM .

3.    Bargain. Don’t just pay what they’re asking. Give the seller a price. Say something like, “I’ll give you $500 for it.”

4.    Be patient. It might take 3 or 4 weeks to find the perfect hot tub. It’s worth it. Don’t just jump on the first hot tub being offered by the lady with Eczema. Because Craigslist should empower the consumer, not gross him or her out.

 

5.     Look at it as an adventure. You’ll visit places and meet people you’d ordinarily never come across. And the overwhelming majority of sellers are nice people who won’t rip you off or murder you.

Tune in for my next post for tips on using Craigslist if you’re selling, so you can clutter bust, make some bank and save the planet at the same time!

Photo: Ship lady from my own fabulous attic. Don't worry, Mom, I'm not planning to sell this family heirloom on Craigslist. Just all your jewelry.