4 Mother's Day Gotta Get Gifts

Over the weekend Mariah Carey and Nick Canon renewed their vows in a lavish ceremony at Disneyland. Nick dressed as a Prince, Mariah as a Princess as they celebrated their 5 years of wedded bliss at the Disneyland castle.

Clearly, not all women are alike in how they wish to celebrate milestones. I would rather be dragged by wild horses through Disneyland before I would have a vow renewal ceremony in Disneyland. Or anywhere else for that matter. Because vow renewal ceremonies are ridiculous.

But to each his own, I guess. Then, it occurred to me that just because I loathe breakfast in bed, that doesn’t mean all moms do.

So in the interest of fair and balanced reporting, I offer some other points of view about “gotta get” items for Mother’s Day. (These ideas were gotten from my fellow 1^st grade soccer moms whom I badgered mercilessly at practice this week.)

Mother’s Day “Gotta Get” Gifts:

1.      A meal at a restaurant. It turns out all mothers DO hate breakfast in bed. It’s not just me. Many reasons were offered:

-  it’s dirty

-  the cooks are enthusiastic, but not necessarily good

- the kitchen looks like Chernobyl as a result. And guess who gets to clean up Kitchen Chernobyl? She-Whose-Day-It-Is.

Give us a break and take us out for breakfast or lunch or dinner. You choose. We’re not picky. Except about crumbs in our sheets.

2.     Flowers. From the grocery store. We were unanimous in this. We all have fancy vases we foolishly registered for at our weddings.

We like to use these fancy vases to house the really pretty, really simple bouquets you get us at Safeway. I personally like tulips a whole lot more than roses. Ask the mom in your life what she prefers, then get a whole bunch of them. All in one color.

Go a step further and plop the flowers into the fancy vase yourself. Fill it with water and a pinch of sugar first (this will make the blooms last longer). And remember to thank me when Mom thanks you with a big, old smackeroo.

3.    A half-day family activity. We were unanimous in this too. We all want to spend a good chunk of the day with our tribe (this would be you guys, our husbands and kids). Favored activities range from hiking to bowling to bike riding. Again, we’re not picky, as long as it’s just half the day. Because we want to spend the other half on …

4.    A half-day solo activity. We want the freedom to choose which activity and plan it too. But we want the kitchen pass, happily given, so we can go A) have coffee with a girlfriend B) take a nap C) get a massage and manicure/pedicure or D) all of the above.

And we’re even happier if -- in addition to this kitchen pass -- our fellas offer the assurance that the offspring will be cared for in a manner up to our standards. Or as my friend S put it. “I just want none of my children to get hurt.” Yes, let’s not cap off this day of celebration with an evening trip to the ER.

These items are all most of us want. But there are some overachievers among you.  You, sirs, are saying in your head,” But guru girl, of course I will shower my wife with all of the above. I want to give her even more.” 

For you, I go a step further. These items are more suited to individual tastes, but I bet would be heartily welcomed by most any mother.

5.     A coffee table book. Because what’s better than a book that’s stately, elegant and pristine? A home that’s all of the above. A girl can dream, can’t she? And coffee table books help her do so.

6.    A Keurig coffee maker. Because what’s better than a whole lotta caffeine in the morning? A gadget that speedily makes a whole lotta caffeine in the morning, in a cool pod!

7.      A necklace with a charm of each kid’s initial. These are great because they’re inexpensive, thoughtful and easily found at Swoozie’s, a gift shop with storefronts in most metropolitan areas and at some airports. The silver trinket letter necklace retails for around $30. You can also get one online at etsy. (Click this link to visit the etsy studio with an initial necklace for around $30.)

Let’s say everything goes off the rails this Mother’s Day and you’re able to provide none of the above. As long as the day includes some  hand-drawn cards, heartfelt bear hugs and declarations of everlasting love – accompanied by an agreement not to argue with one’s siblings for a full 24 hours – most moms I know would consider the day a rousing success.

Happy upcoming Mother’s Day guru girls (& the guys who love them)!