Disneyworld Is Kicking My A$$

Lately guru girl’s been in need of a little R&R. Naturally, a week in Disneyworld was the answer. This seemed like a great idea before I actually spent the week in Disneyworld, which is what I did last week, which is why my blog posts were so sporadic. Because even though I wrote them ahead of time, I had barely a minute to log on and upload them.

That’s how busy I was riding rollercoasters, meeting Disney characters and practicing deep breathing so I wouldn’t glare at my fella or the 10,000 other parents at Disney. All of whom were busy trying to ride rollercoasters, meet Disney characters, use the restroom and buy food at the exact same time as me.

Whew. It was fun-filled and exhausting – kind of like parenthood itself. The only bad part was when the 9 year old kept asking me, “Is Disneyworld still kicking your “a, money, money”?” She kept asking me this because in a moment of weakness that is the exact text I sent to a friend: “Disneyworld is kicking my a$$.” The sentiment is true, but I wouldn’t have sent the text if I’d remembered how the 9 year old loves to read my phone.

And I totally should have remembered that because the 9 year old also loves to read my dad’s phone, which she did a few weeks ago, when a certain family member sent my dad a certain text featuring the f word.

My dad loves to cackle about the embarrassing stuff I have to explain to the Dynamic Duo. The fact that, in this case, it was Grandpa who had to explain the f word to a 9 year old is awesome. It’s called karma. And the fact that I wasn’t the one who dropped the f bomb is proof that swear jars work. So there you have it, 4 undeniable truths:

1.     Watch your language around young ‘uns. Both spoken and typed.  Because if you’re lucky they’ll ask what it means, and if you’re unlucky they’ll ask what it means after they’ve repeated it to all their friends.

 

2.    Swear jars work. Every time you utter a bad word, put $1 in the swear jar. You’re going to sound as proper as the Queen Mother in no time.

 

3.    Swear jars, and basic awareness that living with a kiddo is like living with a particularly cunning spy, will fix everything because you’ll start living like your every communication is under surveillance. That’s because it is.

4.    Some of these facts about parenthood are a pain in the “a, money, money”. Like parts of a Disneyworld trip. Luckily, like Disneyworld, parenthood is definitely more about the magical moments, the pain in the a$$ moments are just there for perspective.