4 Top Father's Day Gifts

Guru Guy wins. He emerged with the “most improved” title after our recent trip to Europe. All those months of training runs at grocery stores and Ikea with the Dynamic Duo paid off.

Guru Guy rocked it. Despite the crowds and the heat and the fraud protection from our bank (so on-point that it prevented even us from withdrawing any of our money from ATMs).

Every year we have a “most improved” contest. The spouse who has improved the most wins. The only voters are me and my fella. Even the year my friend Paul lobbied hard to cast a vote. (Because Paul knows how much I love winning, and he believed my fella was not getting full props for his spousal improvement efforts.)

This is no longer the case. Guru Guy swept “most improved”. In every category. Attitude, parenting engagement, having-a-clue and even on-ground finesse (which requires graceful navigation of congested urban environments with offspring in tow).

Even his one meltdown – when he directed the Dynamic Duo to “step away from the elevator buttons, step away now”– was awesome. Because it made me laugh so hard I cried.

Messing up elevator operation in a giant hotel is no joke. And neither is winning “most improved”. So I’m getting Guru Guy his engraved winner’s trophy (dog-tags from the kiosk at PetSmart), but I feel like I should go above-and-beyond for Father’s Day too.

The catalog Uncommon Goods has some excellent options. Like the Aroma Fork which, according to the catalog, lets you “explore the sense of smell’s role in taste and enjoy an enhanced dining experience”.

The set includes 21 oil essences of herbs and fruits that you spear with your fork. The scent of this pod, coupled with the actual taste of the food you’re eating off your fork, is supposed to blow your culinary mind. For $59 it had better. (Click this link to go to uncommongoods.com to check out this bounty for yourself!)

Or I could get him this Colorful Face Mug. Check out its expression. If I filled the bottom part with croissants and the top with espresso it would totally replicate Guru Guy’s European Elevator moment.

Or there’s a Mini Beer Pong set designed to be filled with craft beer. If I did my hair up big and presented this to him it would be like giving him the gift of time travel. Back to the 90s. Richard Branson’s got nothing on me.

I am still jet-lagged and staggering though. So I may go with the tried-and-true Father’s Day gift: surprise him with a family hike and show him we’re all capable of winning “most improved/sports category”. As most improved hikers we will not stop for snacks, bathroom breaks, selfies or complaining.

Instead, unlike past years, we shall spend our time actually hiking and stop only to appreciate nature. Guru Guy will also enjoy this. Perhaps as much as he will enjoy the fact there are no elevators or malfunctioning ATMs in nature.

Happy travels and Happy Father’s Day, all!