4 Rules For Family Vacation

… Learned On Recent Trip

1.     One’s own children are many things. Delightful. Funny. Loving. Convenient is not one of them.

2.    Beef jerky is a bad snack in the car. As a parent you should not be swayed by the deep passion your youngest professes for this most odiferous of snack foods.

3.    On a trip to the waterpark, if you’re over 70 you can -- and should -- pass on the racing slide. Especially one named “Extreme Rush”, which is described as plummeting a swimmer down “400 feet on a zigzag course at incredible speeds”. But go, Grandpa, for being the first silver-hair sighted on that bad boy all summer.

 

4.    Airport security people have a sense of humor now. Two of them asked if Hannah, the stuffed dog who is part of our entourage, had a ticket. These people evidently have a sense of humor now but still not a clue as they don’t realize how close to the edge of a screaming tantrum they came, courtesy of our youngest family member, who doesn’t always get jokes.

      If flying was out for Hannah, the 6 year old would’ve nixed it too, leaving our half-pint alone in the Milwaukee airport with no choice but to become a junior security deputy where I’m pretty sure she would abuse her power and seize all suspicious looking liquids and beef jerky.

     Happy travels this summer, guru girls & guys!