4 Remedies For Pain & Sleepless Nights

This is me, after eating something mentioned in that article. 

This is the reason suggestible-me is banned from "web-md" surfing.  

I just read the article “14 Seemingly Harmless Things You Eat All The Time That Can Kill You”.

It took a full 3 minutes. To read no-brainers like “don’t take 75 Tylenol capsules” and “don’t eat 16 chocolate bars” in a day or the chemicals will add up and probably kill you.

In my daily life, I do all kinds of no-brainer stuff but not once have I come close to either of these options.

My no-brainer activities are far more esoteric. Like last month at the gas station when I thought my tank was filled up. So I pulled the gas pump hose out of my tank while the gas was still flowing.

That stupid gas erupted like Old Faithful, all over my car, my shoes and the ground as I jumped around, shrieking and stabbing at the “off” button.

It was the worst! But you’ll notice I’m not going to ruin anyone else’s day by including it in a “what not to do” list that lures people in with a catchy title.

Here is my list of the day. I’m calling it “Very Useful Items You Will Be Glad You Spent 3 Minutes Of Your Day Reading About”.

4 Remedies for Sleeplessness & Pain

1.      Buy sunglasses with amber-colored lenses. Wear them when you’re viewing electronics at night within two hours of bedtime. The amber lens color counteracts the blue light from electronics, which disrupts your sleep pattern.

2.   Buy Gaia “Sleep Thru” herbs. Pop two of these all natural babies before bed time, and they’ll help you sleep through the whole night. No more waking up at 3 a.m. and staying awake for an entire hour, possibly the most frustrating thing ever (aside from malfunctioning gas pumps.) I’ve tried these herbs, and they really do help. (Available at Whole Foods and other retailers.)

3.   Buy Lemon scented lotion. Scent can help bring your anxiety down in stressful moments. Think of a scent you find soothing (lavender, lemon, sage) and buy some scented lotion. Slather it on in those anxious moments and it’ll help ya keep your calm. (Even at the malfunctioning gas pump.)

4.   Buy Epsom salts. Everyone knows to pour a cup of these into bath water, and they’ll help with aching muscles. But if you feel a headache coming on, jump into an Epsom salt bath and it can head off the headache, one study says.

This is a whole lot better than popping 75 Tylenol and becoming the poster child for that crazy article I read earlier today.  

Happy sleeping and pain-free living, guru girls & guys! 

5 Foods Every Dieter Needs

I am officially on a money diet.

This weekend I got a little too excited at the school auction. I was feeling bad about my lack of bidding restraint until a friend commiserated about her own experience a few years ago.

She texted,”I put my paddle up for a golf trip, without even knowing the details. (Like it’s in another state and only valid on weekdays!!)”

Another shared," Last year I bid on the art project with the fingerprints of all the fourth graders. I didn't even have a fourth grader!"

Thank God for girlfriends! I am still chuckling about their stories and feeling much less chagrined about my own. I’m not alone in my momentary auction madness!

But the money diet remains and the healthy eating diet too. Dieting is the worst because you’re hungry all the time. But add these 5 foods to your pantry and presto! You’re eating healthy and not hungry or incredibly bitter.

It’s a contradiction in terms, I know. Like the term “responsible spending” when applied to guru girl.

All this stuff has lots of protein so it fills you up, and most of it comes in easy-to-carry packs you can stash in your purse.

The 5 Fab Foods:

1.      Sargento Balanced Breaks cheese and nut packs – 7 grams protein, 180 calories per pack

2.    Frollicks Crunchy Cheese cracker pouches – 8 grams protein, 90 calories per pack.

3.    Think Thin High Protein bars – 20 grams protein, 240 calories

4.    Edamame – 4 grams protein, 45 calories per single serving

5.     Apple  -- I have no idea what the stats are on apples, but they’re good for you. One recent study says to eat an apple before dinner every day.

Happy healthy eating and living, guru girls and guys!

And for those of you with school auctions to attend, bid away those Benjamins. The guilt is fleeting and the good lasts the whole next school year. It’s a great cause! Many thanks to those who made ours so irresistible!  

Moisturizing Made Easy: Nivea In Shower Body Lotion!

Suggestible people should not be allowed to read books about, say, hoarding. Because a suggestible reader would then start eyeing the contents of her own house with great suspicion. Is it just normal-clutter or hoarding-clutter?

And then action must be taken. Junk drawers cleaned. Closets weeded. Basement storage tackled.

Whew. I am exhausted. But still suggestible. Which is why I should also quit watching prime time television. I actually did this last night but only because the State Of The Union address was on.

Most nights I do watch prime time television and most nights this new, miraculous Nivea lotion is advertised. In fact, it’s advertised so often the suggestible among us don’t stand a chance.

So I gave up the fight and bought some today. Nivea In-Shower Body Lotion is lotion you spray on yourself right in the shower, while you’re still drenched from the shower. It only adds 30 seconds to your morning routine. And you do it before you even touch a towel.(Click this link to go to amazon.com where you can buy Nivea In Shower Body Lotion for around $6.)

Because those Nivea chemists know it’s January, it’s cold and our skin is cracking and red. But some of us are too busy to apply lotion because every spare minute is being spent de-cluttering our houses so we don’t become accidental hoarders.

But this little Nivea number is one product worth hoarding if you see it on special at Cost Co. Because after a few spritzes, you’re encased in a little bubble of moisturized greatness. For a full 24 hours, your skin’s impervious to wind, snow and storage box paper cuts!

Happy moisturizing, guru girls & guys!

2 Ways To Smell As Good As Sofia Vergara Looks

There is a reason I am obsessed with laundry and that reason is pictured above,

 in the very act of creating more laundry.

Usually I am not about the extra step. Good enough is good for me. But sometimes -- just sometimes -- the extra step is worth it.

Because it can make basic laundry, great laundry. It can turn a tired salad into a terrific one.

For great laundry, the answer is detergent and scent boosters. You know those people who smell amazing, and it’s clearly not perfume or weird body spray? 

Like guru girl, they have googled their way to the answer: Gain Laundry Detergent and scent boosters. (Click this link to go to amazon.com where you can order Gain In Wash Scent Boosters for around $7.)

 

Scent boosters look like mini skittles. You throw a handful of them on top of your dirty duds and something positively transformative happens. Your clothes – and you who wear them – smell fantastic. Forever!

Scent boosters are little pods of goodness in the irksome task called laundry. I love them, almost as much as I love the chopped salad from Maggiano’s, which I also googled this week.

Am testing the Maggiano's recipe out this weekend and shall report my findings to you next week.

Happy going-the-extra-mile this weekend, guru girls & guys!

Dog Swag: 3 Hot Trends

I love my dog as much as the next gal. But, dog lovers, we have got to get a grip.

They are now selling a fitness tracker… for my dog. The FitBark is for people who want to track their pet’s every move via a gizmo attached to the collar. It calculates my dog’s hourly activity level and *bonus*, according to the literature, it lets me compare this level to other dog breeds.

Why would I need a gadget to tell me this information? Why would I not just look at my dog? The one who tracks me around 24/7?

This dog gadgetry seems excessive. Even to me, a person who once debated swabbing Stanley’s cheek and sending it away to a place that does dog geneology.

I would love to know the different breeds that combined to make the perfect alchemy that is Stanley. But there are better things to spend my money on, like a fitness belt for myself!

I know these are reminiscent of those fanny packs from the 80s, but an on-the-go girl’s got gear. Even when she’s just walking the dog, I mean, conducting a personal training canine fitness session.

The spibelt fits my keys, phone, Kleenex and motivational dog treats. All without bouncing around when I’m chasing Stanley as he chases local wildlife and the occasional threatening leaf.(Click this link to go to spibelt.com where you can order this belt up for around $20.)

For dog owners, I like the spibelt. I disparage the FitBark, and I question the Cuddle Clone, which is a stuffed animal clone of your pet you can order from the internet.

Am pretty sure this face is unclonable – so will just enjoy the real thing instead!

Happy Thursday, guru girls & guys!

The Franco Brothers, "Neighbors" & Pycnogenol: 3 Very Good Things

Guru girl is a sniffling mess these days. Is it a cold? Is it allergies? Who can tell the difference?

It’s like James Franco and his brother. They are practically exactly the same. Except one is starring in that great new movie “Neighbors”, which I hope to see in theaters next weekend.

And the other is taking naked selfies and posting them on Instagram. So while the two look very similar, they are actually very different.

But back to the cold versus allergies topic. I am hoping I have allergies. Because suffering a cold in springtime is the absolute worst. But, just in case it is a cold, I am off to the vitamin store to procure some of this miracle supplement I just read about: Pycnogenol.

This handy, little vitamin cuts cold symptoms practically in half -- from 7 days down to 4 days! And it fixes up your wrinkles and  jet lag. I need no antidote for my jet-setting ways but the rest of it? Heck yes!

Pycnogenol is made from French pine bark. It appears I can’t have springtime in Paris, but I can have springtime with some pine bark from Paris. It’s a close second (again, like James Francos’ brother).

To make your cold recovery even faster, take this trifecta (according to health researchers):

-         30 mg of Zinc

-         200 mg of Vitamin C

-         100 mg of Pycnogenol

Take these babies daily from the start of symptoms for the next 5 days. You’ll be kissing your cold goodbye and your fella hello. (Pycnogenol is available from your local health food store or amazon.com for around $25 per jar.)

Happy springtime to you and your non-stuffy, sneezy, achy head, guru girls & guys!

St. Patrick's Day Rainbow Cake: The Truth Revealed

So I still stand by the St. Patrick’s Day Rainbow Cake that I recommended in the previous post. But I have to make a few clarifications.

Hopefully, this will not be as embarrassing as in college when I had to go to the registrar and clarify my reason for withdrawing from the class I’d signed up for: “Uses Of War”.

This class was a foolish waste of an elective for a liberal arts major like me. It also covered lots of gruesome war-related things and featured no cute boys, which was the whole reason I signed up for it in the first place.

I discovered all these things after attending the first class meeting. It was unfortunate. As was my meeting with the registrar, who forced me to explain it all. There is nothing that sobers you up faster than having to verbalize your flibberty gibbet ways to an authority figure.  

And I am happy to say that I took the rest of my college career very seriously, keeping academics at the forefront of my mind and boys at the very, very back of it.

Mostly.

Sometimes, in life, reality includes some unhappy truths. I’m not saying that’s the case with this fine Rainbow Cake. But I am saying it is different than advertised.

Now that I’ve made it, I know. Here’s what you should know too, before embarking on the Rainbow Cake:

1.      This is not a fast cake to make. There are lots of steps. Allocate plenty of time. Don’t get distracted. Or leave the cake alone in the same room as the dog.

2.    Do not skip the parchment paper step. I am always tempted to skip steps like these that feature extraneous products. Don’t give in to the temptation.

Line each of your pans with parchment paper that you’ve cut to fit the shape. This makes dumping the baked cake out of the pan an absolute snap, which is important because you’ll be doing it 4 times!

3.    You’re going to be cleaning up. A lot. Multiply the clean up factor of making one cake by 4. Because you’re making 4 mini cakes so that means 4 bowls, 4 spoons, 4 pans. 4 times the amount of cleaning, people! Clearly, I could have been a math major in college.

4.    Buy extra frosting. One frosting can doesn’t cut it. Because this isn’t just a cake. It’s a creation. A creation that is tall and starts to lean like the Tower Of Pisa if you don’t have enough frosting to stabilize the layers. Or if, like me, you try to make do with only one frosting can because you’ve already done a last minute trip to the grocery store to get the parchment paper you initially forgot and you simply refuse to go again.   

5.     Go with 4 layers, not 6. The initial recipe calls for 6 layers. I think you get the same effect with 4.

The cake was a little trickier to make than I initially thought, but I’m glad I did it. I think the now-11 year old is gonna be psyched when she digs into it tonight at the family birthday bash.

Happy baking guru girls & guys!

St. Patrick's Day Dessert To Wow Friends & Family

Every year in March I get the same request from the 10 year old as she plans her birthday celebration: “Mommy, will you make your famous cupcakes?”

And every year I magnanimously nod my head, before I dash out to the store to get the Pillsbury cake mix I use to make "my" famous cupcakes.

I may not be a creative baker, but I am a creative presenter. Here are "my" famous cupcakes that we recently made for literacy night at the elementary school. We chose to depict the childhood classic “Aliens Love Underpants”.

We did not win. Which was a disappointment.

But not as big a disappointment as the birthday treats I made for the 3^rd graders a few years ago. They had a class snake named Montie, whom they loved. Naturally, the 10 year old decided her birthday treats should be rice krispie treats shaped like mini Montie’s.

So we made them. And we shaped them. And they certainly resembled something. Though not exactly the class pet.

I didn’t mention this to my child and hoped against hope that none of the 3^rd grade boys would bring it up. Which they didn’t.

Yet more proof the universe is not always brutish.

So there are a few “misses” in the baking column. But I’m feeling energized and ready to tackle a new cooking project for the birthday this month.

I just read about the rainbow cake. Which I think sounds fantastic, partly because it features my old standby – Pillsbury cake mix!

So I’m going to give it a go. Let’s be clear that “give it a go” means I shall be baking no less than 6 cakes, people. And going a little nuts with the food coloring.

You should try it too. For St. Patrick’s Day! Stage your rainbow cake with a little leprechaun figurine next to it. Cute and easy. Like Miley Cyrus. Allegedly.

Rainbow Cake Directions:

1.      Get yourself 2 boxes of white cake mix. Make up your batter and divide into 6 bowls.

2.    Add food coloring to get the different rainbow colors.

3.    Buy 6 disposable cake pans and line them with parchment paper.

4.    Pour batter evenly into the pans.

5.     Bake it up! But bake 5 to 10 minutes less than the cake package instructions tell you since the layers are pretty thin.

6.    Cool, stack and frost.

7.     Decorate with Skittles!

8.    Stage with your leprechaun figurine next to it. Get it, leprechaun at the end of the rainbow? (Don’t worry. Miley probably didn’t get it either.)  

Happy baking guru girls & guys!

Ready, Set, Go: Gentlemen, Get Your Stocking Stuffers

It wasn’t until I was enjoying a tranquil walk this weekend with my friend Sarah that I learned she walks with a switch blade.

Yes, a switch blade. Sarah doesn’t mess around with matters of personal safety. Neither do I. Which is precisely why I don’t carry a switchblade. Am pretty sure I could inflict some damage with a knife, but not on any bad guy.

Which is why another friend encouraged me to carry rocks in my pockets. Rocks to throw at the bad guys in my neighborhood. Bad guys who travel in packs, specifically: coyote packs.

The big problem with this solution is that my aim is terrible. So I was excited when I came across this new gadget: the clip on personal alarm from the Container Store. It goes for$14.99.(Click this link to go to the containerstore.com for more info.) When you pull the alarm off your jacket, it emits an ear-piercing shriek, perfect for scaring off a mongrel or two.

The clip on alarm would be a great gift for the switchblade carrier, I mean urban walker, in your life too.

Nothing says I care about you and your health like a good, old-fashioned, personal alarm. But if you want to continue to risk personal life and limb with your switchblade, the Container Store has you covered there too, with some very cute retro ice bags for $12.99.

Stocking stuff away, guru girls & guys!

Gobble Up: 1 Healthy Turkey Meatball Recipe

 

In anticipation of Thanksgiving I was perusing my mom’s stash of gourmet cookbooks. I love gourmet cookbooks because the recipes are delicious. But they are also often fattening, complicated and requiring of ingredients I have never heard of.

So the cookbooks were a bust for Thanksgiving, but in my mom’s humble, scrawled, recipe notebook I found just the ticket: a recipe for turkey meatballs that sounds both delicious and healthy. And * hallelujah * it doesn’t involve butter, frying or mysterious sounding ingredients like Pernod.

Since I am not making the dish requiring Pernod, I will be saving all the time I would have spent hunting for this damn thing at Whole Foods. And I am instead going to use this time to make Mom’s turkey meatball recipe! Not for Thanksgiving… but sometime over the holiday break.

 Turkey Meatballs & Spaghetti

Ingredients:

3 cups bread crumbs

 

2/3 cup whole milk

2 pounds ground turkey

½ pound sweet Italian pork sausage (take casings off)

3        ounces thinly sliced prosciutto

1 cup grated Asiago cheese

½ cup minced fresh parsley

1 teaspoon dried oregano

1 teaspoon crushed red pepper flakes, salt and black pepper

3 tablespoons olive oil

2 large eggs, beaten

3 jars marinara sauce (They should each be 24 ounce jars.)

2 pounds spaghetti

 

Directions:

 

Preheat oven to 400 degrees.

Line 2 sheet pans with parchment paper.

In bowl, add bread crumbs & milk. Set aside.

 

In a large bowl, combine turkey, sausage, prosciutto, bread mixture, Asiago, parsley, oregano, red pepper flakes, 1 teaspoon salt and 1 ½ teaspoon pepper.

 

Combine ingredients with your hands. Add the 3 tablespoons of olive oil and the eggs and stir with a fork to combine.

 

Wash hands.

 

Roll mixture into 2 inch round meatballs and place them on the prepared sheet pans. Brush meatballs with olive oil. Bake for 35 to 40 minutes, until the tops are browned and the centers are cooked.

 

Pour marinara sauce in a large pot, add meatballs and bring to a simmer.

 

Cook spaghetti in large pot of boiling salted water according to package directions. Drain and place spaghetti in individual bowls and top with meatballs and sauce. Serve with Parmesan cheese on the side.

 

Make this recipe to power yourself up after hunting down all those Black Friday deals, guru girls & guys. Happy upcoming Thanksgiving!

1 Easy Trick To Glam Up A Dinner Party

In theory, I love these.

-         Burlap?

-         Cute font?

-         Message preached by placemat instead of mother? (They sport sayings like "put your napkin in your lap" & "elbows off the table".)

All things I love. The trifecta of good.

And then I looked at the price.

$69 for a set of 6.

$69 for placemats that will need to be dry cleaned once anyone uses them.

Shoot. At my house they’d need to be dry cleaned once anyone looked at them. (And yes by “anyone” I mean the 7 year old ;)

So the manners placemat is off my “gotta get” list, but here’s what’s on it instead: paper placemats. So cute! So clever! So disposable!

 

They glam up Chinese takeout and make you shrug when the 7 year old makes a beeline for them, markers in hand. (I'm not saying use them every day but for a big dinner that you want to make a bit more swanky? These are the ticket!)

Gives new meaning to the phrase “try it, you may like it”, doesn’t it? A set of 50 goes for around $24 on amazon.(Click this link to see the Italian scroll placemat pads on amazon.)

Happy dining, guru girls & guys!

 

Yoga 101: How To Move Your Body*

Yoga 101: How To Move Your Body*, When You've Moved Your Stuff Badly & Need Some Peace 

I misplaced the computer. And the toothbrushes of the Dynamic Duo. So for a day they brushed their teeth with their fingers.

Clearly, the move is going awesome. And I'm not in need of anything. Except for a computer, some toothbrushes and a whole lot of inner peace. This state is what's finally driven me to take a yoga class. Because my friend Ashley, who teaches yoga, says that's the ticket to serenity. And if I can't have great dental hygiene, at least I can have great inner calm about it.

Read on for Ashley's words of wisdom about yoga. I am signing up for a class later today!

Yoga Wisdom: Or Here's What Ashley Says... 

"Here's what I think.  Yoga is not just a trendy new exercise.  It's a thousands-year-old system for reaching enlightenment.  The physical aspect (asana) is just one of the 8 limbs of the path of yoga (this is just one website that explains it, not a particularly good one, really, just the first one I clicked on):

http://www.expressionsofspirit.com/yoga/eight-limbs.htm

That said, most people start with asana because it's easiest - your physical body is right there, and you can see and feel it.  Working on straightening your spine in a forward fold is more straightforward than "cultivating inner perceptual awareness", for example.  But the crazy thing is, if you do asana every day, and you do it mindfully and with awareness of your breath (because otherwise it's just exercise), the other stuff starts to happen.  You find yourself being kinder and more patient (because you are living in the moment, not thinking there's something better you could be doing than standing in line at the grocery store), you find that you eat healthier food (because you start to notice how your body feels when you eat junk), etc., etc.  

So here's what I'd recommend for a start.  I think you should do yoga every day, but at a minimum 4x a week.  Even if it's just 5 minutes.  Consistency is more important than endurance.  Yoga is a practice, not a theory, so you have to do it.  It's better to do it at the same time of day, and you can do the same set of exercises every time.  I usually do about 5 minutes of breathing exercises, and then a few sun salutations every morning.  Takes maybe 15 minutes.  Then I chant (maybe 10 minutes) and meditate (maybe 15 minutes) before bed.  And I try to go to class a few times a week.  

In my personal experience, it's much easier to do yoga with other people.  There's just a nice energy that it's hard to get on your own.  Plus if you are a beginner it's good to have a teacher to make sure you are doing things safely.  Then I think it's fine to move to a video or maybe better, podcast.  I can't imagine really being able to do "yoga" (concentrating on breath, body, etc. while watching a DVD, you know?)  Most yoga studios have what the call "community classes" where their teacher trainees teach, and the class is free, or a $5 donation.  It's a good way to try out different studios and teachers for cheap.  

Some of my favorite yoga books:

Not for complete beginners, but offers some theory and a guide to seeing up a serious home practice:

http://www.amazon.com/Beyond-Power-Yoga-Levels-Practice/dp/0684855267/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1373564590&sr=1-1&keywords=beyond+power+yoga

A great restorative yoga book, easy to follow routines for home, office, etc.  Would be great for before bed:

http://www.amazon.com/Relax-Renew-Restful-Stressful-Times/dp/1930485298/ref=wl_it_dp_o_pC_nS_nC?ie=UTF8&colid=IV8Y132L3VUO&coliid=I1DEZ9G8KBV6YB

Kundalini is its own crazy type of yoga.  This book is a nice introduction and has great "kriyas" (little yoga routines) you can do at home:

http://www.amazon.com/Kundalini-Yoga-Shakta-Kaur-Khalsa/dp/0789467704/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1373564800&sr=1-1&keywords=kundalini+yoga

Not an "asana" book, but an accessible, easy to read overview of the theory:

http://www.amazon.com/Happy-Yoga-Reasons-Theres-Nothing/dp/0060533390/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1373564563&sr=8-1&keywords=happy+yoga

A meditation book that is quick and no-nonsense and teaches you to meditate in your real life, not on a cushion in some Zen monastery:

http://www.amazon.com/One-Moment-Meditation-Stillness-People-Go/dp/0982374607/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1373565145&sr=1-1&keywords=one+moment+meditation

Really nice mindfulness exercises to work into your everyday life:

http://www.amazon.com/Shortcuts-Inner-Peace-Everyday-Serenity/dp/B0085S08TM/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1373565182&sr=1-1&keywords=shortcuts+to+inner+peace

Also, there are a lot of mindfulness apps for your phone.  I have one called The Mindfulness App.  It has some guided meditations, and silent meditations that it can remind you to do at certain times or certain locations.  And an app for your computer that combines mindfulness with some of the best spiritual teachers around today is https://www.stillnessbuddy.com/.  "

Thanks, Ashley, for the yoga primer! Now if you could just send some kid toothbrushes my way ;)