The Hidden Danger Of Tooth Whitening

 We all suck at multitasking. Not just the guy who recently went over the edge of a cliff in his truck because he was texting. We’re all terrible at it. This isn’t news.

There was a documentary from the Massachusetts Institute Of Technology (MIT) a few years ago that showed our multitasking and tech-savvy ways are actually changing how our brains work. And not in a good way. In scholarly jargon the documentary basically said we’re giving ourselves a touch of brain damage every time we multitask.

But I’m never one to let a little study from, oh, MIT get in my way. So, even after digesting the information, I’ve continued to multitask. And perform. Badly. The idea that this behavior was problematic just hadn’t been made clear to me… until yesterday… when I desperately needed to bleach my teeth and walk the dog and had only ½ an hour to do both. So I did what any self-respecting multitasker would.

I slapped those whitening molds on my pearly whites, leashed up the dog and headed out, feeling proud of my “can do” attitude. It was going great. Until. There’s always an until… Until I ran into our newlywed neighbor who asked how I was doing.

This was a problem, one my damaged, multitasking brain couldn’t think up a quick solution to. Let’s make this like one of those “Choose Your Own Adventure” books.

In this situation, do you:

A)  give the big, closed-mouth smile and energetic thumbs up, before silently moving past

B)  spit the whitening trays out in your hand and explain the time constraints this neighbor will also face once he’s logged a few more marital miles and added kids to the mix. Editor’s Note:  Surely this would cross a good neighbor boundary or two or six.

C)  mumble through the whitening trays, trying to conceal them as best you can, and give a quick, yet jaunty, answer like “I’m ay-okay” before scuttling past

I went with Option C. It’s weird on a few levels but not actually offensive and least likely to have the neighbor cross the street to avoid me in the future.

Here’s what I’m avoiding in the future: those blasted teeth whitening trays. They’re inexpensive, and they do the trick but it takes six applications for them to work, and there is a cost. It’s hidden but it’s high: being labeled as the neighborhood crazy lady.

If you have to do it, consider the Crest 3 D Whitestrips. Beauty editors love them and at least they're strips versus trays. They're available on amazon for around $38.  But heed my words and multitask at your peril, guru girls & guys.