1 Easy Way To Increase Empathy

Last year I foolishly took up swimming. With a trainer and everything. I had, in my mind, the idea of competing in a triathlon, despite the fact that I am missing the sporty gene. I live in Colorado, land of the ridiculously fit. I blame my misguided triathlon notion on this fact.

I suck at swimming and came to dread the sessions with my trainer, a 19 year old who made Ryan Lochte look like a brain. After several weeks I gave up in defeat.

I had failed. Worse yet, I had to admit it to my students in the class I was teaching “Creating Professional & Academic Success”. In this class we talk about things like goal setting, motivation, meeting challenges etc. I thought my swimming failure was the worst thing to happen to me as a teacher. Until it became the best thing.

Why? It offered a great, big perspective check, one a know-it-all like me doesn’t acknowledge very often. My swimming experience let me feel frustrated, helpless, unmotivated and conflicted, the way my students often feel when they take a writing class with me. (I’m sure it’s the subject matter that has them so despairing, not their professor’s personality.)

Huh. Suddenly I found myself with a lot more empathy and patience when a student bailed on class or bombed a paper. Maybe the student wasn’t taking advantage or phoning it in. Maybe he was in so far over his head that he needed a life preserver, exactly as I would if I tried the triathlon swim in open water or, really, any kind of water.

Maybe, for the student, the classroom is open water. No wonder he doesn’t show up. This realization made me a kinder, gentler teacher, for the semester anyway.

Do something you’re not good at. Swimming or ice skating or learning a new language or dance move. I guarantee it will give you more patience and empathy with the folks in your life who are frustrating you. Co-workers, kids, family members etc. For me, this perspective shift made all the difference.

My students and kids aren’t making bad choices to be annoying or lazy (well, sometimes they are). Usually they’re doing it because they don’t have the skill set yet. Your job as the boss or the teacher or the parent is to help them develop the skill set. With as much patience and good humor as you can muster. It won’t be quick or easy. Worthwhile stuff is never quick or easy. “Grow your people” is the mantra. Sometimes that can’t be done without growing yourself first.

                       Me and my fella... clearly next up on the "growing" list is our fashion sense.