Timeless & Trendy Tablescape: 4 Easy Steps

I have no idea what Nicki Minaj’s wardrobe malfunction was at the VMAs on Monday. This is because I am keeping my vow to rid myself of trashtastic, celebrity knowledge.

It has only been a week. But I am feeling virtuous with a capital V.

My fella should be feeling less virtuous because he actually watched some of the VMAs. The Beyonce part. And then he tried to engage me in one of our favorite conversations,” Why is Queen B so popular when her music is so bad?”

I fell for this tactic, not realizing until later this was just a distraction so I couldn’t yell at Guru Guy for oogling Beyonce when I am on celeb media blackout.

Not cool, Robert Frost.

But here’s what is cool: design tricks that are easy-peasy. Like this table centerpiece that is both easy to produce and long-lasting. Please note that I am not inserting any catty Beyonce references here, even though the sentence is practically begging for one.

The 4 Ingredient “Lasts Forever & Looks Great Doing It” Tablescape:

1.      Get yourself a tray. A wooden one gives a nice, textural look.

2.    Artfully arrange 4 mini-Perrier bottles on tray.

3.    Plop a mini floral arrangement on the tray. It should be low-standing so you can see over it.

4.    Prop some cute cocktail napkins on tray.

5.     Threaten your family &/or housemates with dreadful consequences if they try to use any items on tray.

 Warning: You will undoubtedly have to explain the concept of “for show”. As in, “These items are just for show. Not for use.”

Side effect: You will feel shallow when doing so.

The “for show” concept will mystify children, who believe nothing is for show, even Mommy’s cocktail dress, which our oldest daughter once used as a tissue while I was wearing it!

Clearly, Nicki Minaj is not the only one who has experienced a wardrobe malfunction. However, there is nothing malfunctioning about this centerpiece. For a timeless table in no time, give it a go!