Everything I Never Told You: A Good Read

Today is the first day of school -- brand new schools -- for the Dynamic Duo.

The girls walked out the door this morning, pretty unflappable. Even though the 8 year old said she had butterflies in her stomach and “Mom, they’re barfing”.

With head held high, she took her barfing butterflies right into 3^rd grade where her goals for the year are: not get in trouble and not eat any ham sandwiches.

I’ve been a wreck all day. And for much of the last week as well.

Change and new routines and middle school are all hard for me. Like they are for everyone.

I’m trying not to bring my angst to the table. Am sure I’m overcompensating with great amounts of fake perkiness. 

But the Dynamic Duo probably know what’s up. Because kids see through that stuff in an instant.

When you say,”Oh, okay. It’s okay.” in that tone? That’s when I know it’s really not okay and somebody’s hurt or there’s a big problem.

This is what the 11 year old said to me earlier this summer, and the worst part about it is that she’s exactly right.

It’s unnerving to be this known. Especially when you’re a person who tries to hide her neurotic tendencies!

But it’s worse if your family doesn’t know you at all. Which is the idea behind Everything I Never Told You by Celeste Ng. This book is a beautifully written account of a family unraveling.(Click this link to go to amazon.com to view more info about this book. Available for around $10.)

It’s less a murder mystery – although one character’s death drives much of the plot – and more an examination of family expectation.

What’s the cost of meeting these expectations? What’s the cost of failing? 

Through the struggling Lee family, Ng answers these questions and poses some more that will make you think long after you finish this read.

The book’s ostensibly about a mild mannered college professor, his wife and children. But it’s really about how parental hopes and experiences shape future generations, in ways good and bad.

At first there’s not a lot of guru girl perkiness here. The characters have to give up pretend and see themselves as they really are, warts and all, before the message of hope ultimately shines through.

But at its core, despite the set up, this is a hopeful story. Just like new beginnings can be hopeful and positive. Even if they involve middle school, barfing butterflies and wackadoo mothers.

Happy reading, guru girls & guys!