The Dark Side Of Twitter

Dear KitchenAid,

I heard about your Twitter disaster. It is a total bummer that someone on your corporate Twitter team mistakenly tweeted to all KitchenAid followers a rude message about a certain president.

I share your Twitter pain. I can totally understand how someone could hit the wrong button and mistakenly tweet, on the corporate account, a message that she wrote for her private Twitter peeps. Side note: Is this really such a big deal? Does KitchenAid really have that many followers? And if so, why?

I myself only have 3 followers on Twitter. This turns out to be a good thing as I have also mistakenly abused this social media channel. I have been posting headlines that are longer than the message is supposed to be.

This oversight should be causing me as much personal embarrassment as your KitchenAid employee is currently suffering. But it’s not. Because America loves a redemption story. (And also because I have only 3 followers.)

So I’ll redeem myself, as I’m sure your Twitter team member will. I’ll figure out what the heck a vanity short URL is, and I’ll even use it. Heck, I might get good enough that I’ll apply to be a Twitter team member for you, KitchenAid! I already have several of the job qualifications mastered, such as generation of possibly offensive content (see first “craft project” post).

Sincerely,

guru girl

 

What Experts Wish You Knew: Sports Talk Edition

Sporting scandal is our issue du jour. This is actually the only part of sports that interests me. The off-court “he said, she said, they did what?!” part. Honestly, the only reason I know about Tom Brady is because of his baby mama drama.

But today we’re not talking about scandal from the big guns, we’re talking about drama from the sporting sidelines. The drama that, gasp, we -- as spectators and parents of athletes -- cause. For today’s “What Experts Wish You Knew” I have wisdom from Keith, a high school basketball coach. Here’s what Keith has to say…

There’s a new kind of parent out there, and coaches can spot them from a mile away: the lawn mower parent. These are the parents who go ahead of their kids and mow down any obstacles in their path. This is not a good thing. This is, in fact, a very bad thing. Almost as bad as hanging a quarterback towel out your front pocket if you are attending a football game and not playing in it.

(This is actually not a complaint from Keith, but a complaint from my friend Teresa. As guru girl has never actually attended a professional football game I’ve never seen this travesty in person, but it sounds bad & should probably be stopped.)

Lawn mower parents call the coach and tell him when their kid is sick and can’t make practice. They’re also the parents who complain to the coach when their kid isn’t getting enough playing time.

These complaints and communications need to be coming from the athlete, not his parents, says Keith. If a kid’s man enough to strap on his own helmet/cup etc. he’s man enough to call the coach himself.   

Let your kids assume responsibility for their lives as athletes. Yell encouraging things from the sidelines but not actual plays, as this is just confusing. Almost as confusing as trying to keep track of the baby mamas of various professional athletes.

Kick back and enjoy the game. Be a good spectator. One who doesn’t wear quarterback towels. Ever.

 

This Season's Most Versatile Shirt: Splendid Thermal Boatneck

I love nautical stripes. Actually, pretty much anything nautical. Sailors, boats, phrases like “land, ho”. So when I see a cute top with stripes on it, my shopping antennae immediately goes up. Saw the actress Jamie Lynn Siegler in this top in a photo spread last week. And then saw my friend Tara rocking the same shirt a few days later. Such a coincidence is the universe telling you something, and that something is: This shirt is really cute. It’s really versatile. GET THIS SHIRT.

 

For work, pop it on under a blazer or cardigan. For the weekend, throw it on over a pair of red or orange jeans. And voila, you’re looking cute. Effortlessly cute. The material is slouchy, which means comfortable, which means this is the shirt you’ll wear again and again and again. Turns out those sailors were on to something. Besides eye patches, wooden legs and rum. Or is that pirates I’m thinking of?

I can’t keep it straight because the only thing on my mind is this Splendid Stripe Thermal Boatneck Top (color: swan; price $74). And that should be all that’s on your mind (and torso too) this season.   (Click here for the link to splendid.com)

One Campaign Promise

The presidential debate is happening here in Denver in a few days. Traffic is already a mess, as I realized when we sat in it, waiting to get to school this morning. Instead of swearing under my breath as I watched the minutes tick by, I glass-half-fulled it and made the experience into a teachable moment about elections and debates. (Go, guru girl! I have to tell you all when I do this because it happens so very rarely.)

So I was explaining to the Dynamic Duo what an election is and how debates work. I told them it’s like at our house where I’m indisputably the president. What if you guys wanted to be president of our house, I asked them. What rules would you change? In a debate, what would you say you’d do?

The 10 year old says she’d offer zucchini bread for breakfast. Every day. I pointed out the transportation dilemma she’d face in getting to the store to get the zucchini bread. Because the job of president is not all motorcades and yummy pastries. There’s the slogging through sucky traffic and grocery shopping part of it too. The 10 year old said it would be no problem. She would hire her grandpa to go to Whole Foods for her. And she would pay him in hugs.  Next month I’m voting for the 10 year old for house president. My term limit’s up.

Check out this great political swag. Available for either party, at swoozies.com

 

1 Easy Way To Increase Empathy

Last year I foolishly took up swimming. With a trainer and everything. I had, in my mind, the idea of competing in a triathlon, despite the fact that I am missing the sporty gene. I live in Colorado, land of the ridiculously fit. I blame my misguided triathlon notion on this fact.

I suck at swimming and came to dread the sessions with my trainer, a 19 year old who made Ryan Lochte look like a brain. After several weeks I gave up in defeat.

I had failed. Worse yet, I had to admit it to my students in the class I was teaching “Creating Professional & Academic Success”. In this class we talk about things like goal setting, motivation, meeting challenges etc. I thought my swimming failure was the worst thing to happen to me as a teacher. Until it became the best thing.

Why? It offered a great, big perspective check, one a know-it-all like me doesn’t acknowledge very often. My swimming experience let me feel frustrated, helpless, unmotivated and conflicted, the way my students often feel when they take a writing class with me. (I’m sure it’s the subject matter that has them so despairing, not their professor’s personality.)

Huh. Suddenly I found myself with a lot more empathy and patience when a student bailed on class or bombed a paper. Maybe the student wasn’t taking advantage or phoning it in. Maybe he was in so far over his head that he needed a life preserver, exactly as I would if I tried the triathlon swim in open water or, really, any kind of water.

Maybe, for the student, the classroom is open water. No wonder he doesn’t show up. This realization made me a kinder, gentler teacher, for the semester anyway.

Do something you’re not good at. Swimming or ice skating or learning a new language or dance move. I guarantee it will give you more patience and empathy with the folks in your life who are frustrating you. Co-workers, kids, family members etc. For me, this perspective shift made all the difference.

My students and kids aren’t making bad choices to be annoying or lazy (well, sometimes they are). Usually they’re doing it because they don’t have the skill set yet. Your job as the boss or the teacher or the parent is to help them develop the skill set. With as much patience and good humor as you can muster. It won’t be quick or easy. Worthwhile stuff is never quick or easy. “Grow your people” is the mantra. Sometimes that can’t be done without growing yourself first.

                       Me and my fella... clearly next up on the "growing" list is our fashion sense.

Ignite Your Dinner Party: Tabletopics Conversation

Pottery Barn’s fall catalogue came in the mail yesterday. It immediately made me want to throw a dinner party. It was the vision of warm, autumnal light playing over the table -- highlighting the pumpkins and ceramic gourds -- that did it. I could just envision the fun and festive environment. The peals of laughter from dinner party guests. Only here’s the thing: tablescapes are great, but they alone do not make a dinner fun or festive. Here’s what does: “Tabletopics: Questions To Start Great Conversations”.

The set contains dozens of conversation starters like “What’s your favorite place to vacation and why?” or “What would you most like to know about the future?” There are  different “Tabletopics” editions so you can get a pack tailored for kids, family gatherings, dinner party, wedding shower etc.  

We have the family set, and it’s enlivened many a dinner. You pass the cube around the table, and each person answers the questions that are called out. The results prompt much better conversation than talk about the weather.

One time the game even prompted tears at our house. They were tears of laughter, from both sets of grandparents, me and the 10 year old, after hearing our 6 year old’s response to the question “What is your favorite poem?”

She recited the poem verbatim. It was impressive on a number of levels.

1)    that the youngest person at the table had memorized a whole poem.

2)   that the poem turned her father speechless and bright red.

3)   that a poem about a highly inappropriate dinner topic (a certain someone’s, ahem, bathroom habits) could inject so much fun into a family dinner.  

I’m not going to reprint the poem here because my fella’s in Vegas this week, and I fear his wrath. It’s fine that what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, but I want my guy to not stay in Vegas once his sales meeting is over because he’s mad. So use your imagination to envision what the poem was about. And use your credit card to get yourself a “Tabletopics” set.(Available on amazon.com for around $25.)

Tough Love Tuesday & Coach's Legacy Leather Duffle

It’s Tough Love Tuesday here at Guru Girl Inc. There’s no easy way to break the news so I’m just going to say it. The mini backpack must go.

I didn’t even realize this message needed to be spread, but I saw my friend Lisa recently. Lisa is still rocking the mini backpack because she’s declared a fatwa on purses. Yes, she thinks they’re evil.

I actually have another friend named Lisa who also refuses to carry a purse. Maybe it’s something in the name. In fact, all 3 of my friends named Lisa are sporty, natural beauties who don’t sweat the small stuff – pretty much the exact opposite of guru girl here. Why didn’t my parents name me Lisa?! Life would be so much easier, and I would spend so much less on purses.

But I digress… I understand not feeling the big, old Mom purse vibe. But mini backpacks are not the solution. Now, the new Coach cross-body bag? That’s a gold star answer. It’s cute and on-trend, but also comfortable. Sling it on and set off on your day. The Legacy Leather Minnie Duffle is as accessible as a fanny pack but will evoke images of starlets and momshells, not your grandma at Disneyland.

I know the only action my backpack-wearing friend Lisa will take, upon reading this, is laughing her ass off. This is because she dared me to write about it, and also because she delights in horrifying me. Lisa also told me recently that she not only wears cargo pants, she buys them in the boys’ department and actually uses their many pockets… to store all the items she can’t fit in her mini backpack. How can she not see the problem here?!

Part of me thinks Lisa made this last part up, just to see if she could make me spit out my drink as I gasped, but a bigger part of me fears it’s true. She’s all about functional fashion so the cargo pants scenario fits. But fashion need not be funky to be functional. See Exhibit A: Coach’s Legacy Leather Minnie Duffle ($198 at Coach stores).   (Click here to check out further details.)

Editor’s Note: Thanks for the idea, Lisa! It’s unfair you are a Momshell, even with the backpack, but you are!