I’m walking around today with bright red eyes, courtesy of
my new eye cream. I look like that poor University of Colorado professor who,
last week, was foolish enough to bite into the brownies some students brought
to the class potluck.
Only, for me, it’s not pot brownies I’ve been unsuspectingly
sampling – it’s a new eye cream that’s supposed to make me look rested and
spry, not like a newborn vampire.
The eye cream -- called Clinique Even Better Eyes Dark
Circle Corrector -- has this handy metal tip that dispenses the miracle gel and
massages it into the eye area. It’s designed to spruce your peepers right up.
What Clinique doesn’t tell you is that if you squeeze the bottle too hard the
miracle cream spurts out the tip and into
one’s eye, versus under it. The effect of miracle cream in one’s eye is
very different.
So now I’m looking less like I’ve visited the Fountain Of
Youth and more like I’ve been on a pot bender. I’m staying with the eye cream
though. With continued – and proper – use this stuff is supposed to be the best
of the best. Like Bruce Willis in “Armageddon”.
If all else fails, I’m trying my friend Tara’s tip, which is
that if you have blue eyes the thing to perk them up is orange eye shadow. I
would not have thought this to be the case, but damned if it didn’t look like
Tara was wearing colored contacts today at school pick up. She was that bright
eyed!
Turns out she was just wearing some new, orange eye shadow. The
take-away here is that just as Bruce Willis was not afraid to launch himself
into space in that movie and my friend Tara was not afraid to rock orange eye
shadow, you should not be afraid to try new things either. The upside could be
huge… like the size of that asteroid Bruce destroyed. (Click on this link to amazon.com to learn more about Clinique Even Better Eyes, available for around $38.)
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