The Non Surgical Face Brightener: Mac's Twig Lipstick

 

The ladies on “The Talk” appeared makeup free on t.v. today. Their guest, actress Jamie Lee Curtis, pronounced it groundbreaking t.v. Really? Since when is skipping lipstick a revolutionary act? If so, I’m a regular radical at school drop off on the days I don’t have to work.

But let’s say insurgency isn’t the look you’re after, and you’ve got a few extra seconds. If there’s one product you apply, let it be lipstick. Not just any lipstick, mind you. The Mac lipstick in the “Twig” shade. It is the perfect fall shade.

They’re showing dark wine lipstick this season. Dark wine lipstick makes you look like a vampire. They’re also showing bright pink lipstick. This lipstick makes you look like Strawberry Shortcake. But the Twig lipstick marries both of these trends. It’s a bit darker than your summer shade but still has pinkish warmth. Beauty editors say it’s universally flattering, and I agree. I’ve seen the lipstick on a range of complexions, and it’s brought a sparkle to them all.

Leave the counter-ops to the revolutionaries. Say “yes” to make up and pick up this shade.(Available at Macy's for around $15 and other outlets online, as well as the Mac store at the mall.)

Tanisha's 'I'm not messing around" look

 

This is a picture of my friend Tanisha at the end of her visit to our house yesterday.

Tee hee. Tanisha helps run a fashion empire in New York. (My words, not hers. She is going to kill me for writing that.) But her management skills were nothing in the face of our 6 year old, who immediately before this pic was taken shouted at her,” You’re going down!”

This was before a spirited game of Ladderball, which the 6 year old totally dominated. Probably because she was totally oblivious to Tanisha’s menacing glare. (See above.)

Tanisha got back at us though, by pulling a total Hamlet move, i.e. exacting revenge on the parents by manipulating impressionable offspring. During our dinner entertainment -- a fashion show put on by the Dynamic Duo -- Tanisha kept shouting “angles” and “smize for us”… which she then taught the 6 year old how to do.

It’s good Tanisha is a muckety-muck because when the 6 year old turns into a Honey Boo Boo, I’m forwarding the therapy bills straight to her.

 

 

The Face Of Total Blog Domination

So I’m behind on the six-point social media plan my tech guru Tanisha gave me as homework to expand the blog, oh, three months ago. This didn’t seem like such a big deal considering Tanisha lives in New York, and I rarely see her in person. Except I’m seeing her in the flesh, um, tomorrow, and I’m still behind on the plan, and instead of acting like a responsible person I seem to have reverted to college guru girl.

I am spending the night speed reading the text that I should have started months ago. My head is already spinning (search engine optimization? creative commons licenses? multiplatform offline blog editors?), and I haven’t even drunk my first Red Bull yet.

I feel like it’s the mid-90s. “Little Miss Can’t Be Wrong” should be on the c.d. player, and I should be writing this on a word processor. Maybe Tanisha will remember we lived through all of these things together, as well as four of the coldest winters in upstate New York on record. In high school I helped score her a hot prom date and re-parked her car during free periods. All with nary a complaint. Well, okay, some complaint.

Which means Tanisha can complain some that I am a flibberty gibbet who’s wasting her valuable advice. But mostly she should tell me stories of her love life that allow me to live vicariously, sample some California rolls and explain (for the twentieth time) how pinterest works. Because this is what friends do. Especially those who remember you still have photographic evidence of them in a bright blue prom dress and the ability to disseminate it to a widespread audience.  

 

Why Prison Dog Programs Work: Fido & the Po Po

So you’re thinking of getting a dog. This is not going to be a Katy Perry/John Mayer relationship, i.e. done-in-the-blink-of-an-eye. Ideally, you and the dog are going to have more Faith Hill/Tim McGraw action going on, i.e. still-making-goo-goo-eyes-at-each-other-after-all-a-these- years. Where should you get the dog?

There are 2 great options to explore. I’m a big believer in rescue groups. We got our first dog from Golden Retriever Rescue of the Rockies, and he was wonderful. (Editor’s note: Yes, I thought he was my reincarnated husband too. I think in previous lives I was married a lot.) Rescue groups are often breed-specific, and they’re dedicated to finding new homes for their dogs who have been left homeless due to a variety of circumstances.

The great thing about these dogs is they’re fostered by families until they are placed so the rescue volunteers know a lot about their temperaments, i.e. good with kids, bad with cats etc.

The down side is that some rescue groups have incredibly high standards. You have to fill out a questionnaire, they interview you, and they won’t consider you as an adoptive family if you don’t meet some of their qualifications, say, you don’t have a fence that’s at least 6 feet high. Some rescue groups even require you to sign a pledge that you won’t leave your dog alone in the back yard if you’re not home. I think their hearts are in the right place, but some of their requirements can seem excessive.

Another great option is a prison dog program. It’s not what it sounds like. The dogs aren’t prisoners. They’re just trained by them. These programs are available at prisons across the United States, from Maine to Montana.

Here’s how they work: the prison dog program rescues a dog from the pound. It pairs the dog up with a prisoner who then lives with the dog, in his cell, and trains Fido for a 4-8 week period. At the end of the training, the dog gets matched with an owner. The result? Happy dog whose been saved from possible euthanasia. Happy owner who receives a dog already trained to heel, sit, potty outside etc.

These dogs are more expensive, typically in the $400 range, but you save money and time because you don’t have to attend any training courses with the dog. And you save aggravation because you get a dog whose well suited to your lifestyle.

If you’re interested in adopting a prison dog, you visit the prison website, which has dozens of pictures of available dogs, along with a short description about their temperaments. These descriptions are spot-on because they’re written by the trainer/prisoner whose been roommates with the dog for the last 2 months. Often they read like an ad on E Harmony because they're written in the first person, i.e. “I enjoy walks, swimming and rides in the car. I also like men, women and beef jerky.”

We got Stanley, our current dog, from a prison group here in Colorado. Rules vary, but through the Colorado program you can select two dogs who you want to meet in person. Then you drive out to the prison, meet the dogs and decide which one is for you. The prison visit is quite the experience, especially if you take a 3 and 6 year old with you, as I did. But that’s an adventure I’ll recount another day.

In short, Stanley is a great dog. Not once has he lunged for a throat, as my twisted friend Jamie predicted. “I bet you’ll say something innocuous like “popcorn”, and he’ll go for your throat.” Those were Jamie’s exact words when I told her about Stanley’s training at the prison. Jamie is clearly a sick and twisted person who took glee in the fact that I was nervous for a full year anytime someone in the house uttered the word “popcorn”.  

Don’t be a hater like Jamie. Embrace the love a dog brings into your life. This link is to the “personals” page for the dogs at Colorado’s K-9 Companion Program. The descriptions will make your day. (Colorado K-9 Companions.)If you’re interested in these sorts of programs, type in “prison dog program” into any search engine and dozens will come up.

 

They also train ill-behaved puppies at many prisons. You drop your nutso puppy off and 6 weeks later get her back. This is a pic of my parents' ill-trained puppy who "vacationed" at the prison and came back a new dog.

Reincarnation & The Family Dog

Confession: Part of me thinks our dog is the reincarnated version of my husband from a previous life. There’s a religious philosophy, the African Vodun, whose followers believe that in each life we’re surrounded by the same collection of souls. They just have different shells. So your husband from 1750 comes back as your brother in 2010. Your mom in 1602 comes back as your daughter in 1809. (Editor’s note: I’ll bet she’s still just as full of advice.) So I’m not alone in this belief. I have religious theory backing me up. Just not widely believed religious theory.  

This weekend the dog woke up early and started whining and pacing around. My fella actually got up and went downstairs to let the dog out. When he opened the door though, the dog was nowhere to be found. Where was the dog? Snuggling in bed with me. As soon as my guy got out of bed, the dog jumped into bed, whereupon he cuddled with me for the next hour, his bladder “emergency” disappearing as suddenly as it came on. Clearly, my husband from a previous life not only loved me a lot, he was wily. 

So if you’re thinking of getting a dog in the near future, you’ve got to give it some thought. You can’t just go to a random pet store and get the cutest one. It might not be the right soul. Even if you think this reincarnation business is mumbo-jumbo nonsense (as I believe my fella might), it’s still wise to put some thought into where you get this new dog. Tune in tomorrow for two great tips on where to get trained and terrific dogs!

Today’s tip -- Next time you’re tempted to just flush the stupid goldfish, think twice.

                                                  Stanley, my husband -- I mean, dog

Dumpster Diving: Family Bonding At Its Best

 The Dynamic Duo experienced a first this weekend when they went on their very first dumpster diving mission. The 6 year old didn’t understand the concept and kept saying, “But I don’t want to steal a car with you guys.” How she got “steal a car” out of “liberate a credenza” I’ll never know. But she was excellent in the getaway car. Kept a good watch and a tight lip. Although the latter could have been from the lollipop we bribed her with.

I have loved dumpster diving ever since I lived in Boston as a grad student and experienced the bounty of goods departing college students leave in city alleys every May. Over the years I’ve scored a brass headboard, a leather chair and now a fab console. I’ve never actually jumped into a dumpster, but I’m game for a good alley-scrounge any day.

Our weekend mission netted us this outstanding console that will look fantastic when spruced up with a coat of bright orange paint. I love spray paint only slightly more than bark chips and my fella. In that order.

Spray paint is cheap, easy and it hides a multitude of sins. Kind of like spray tans. Plus you get to feel kind of dangerous when you buy it because they keep it locked up at the hardware store so you have to request the case be opened for you. Mental note: Dress like your very perkiest, home improving self on the day you buy spray paint and leave the gang colors at home or the hardware store guy might not sell to you.

The next time you’re at a garage sale/estate sale/walking down your alley keep the virtues of spray paint in mind. If a piece of furniture has good bones, nab it. Spray paint fixes an old, banged around piece right up, kind of like the spray tan does for me every June and also for Marie Osmond when she did “Dancing With The Stars” that season. If it’s good enough for me and Marie, you gotta give it a try.  

 

A Crate & Barrel console similar to the one we found. This baby won't require sanding and spray painting but it does require a whole lot of pennies ($1,499 to be exact).

 

5 Fab Reads, Including In The Garden Of Beasts

Modern rules of civility should include nodding hello to the neighbors, not talking about bodily afflictions on your cell phone when at Target and holding the door for the elderly. Back in the day though, there were a whole lot more rules. Specifically in 1920s, pre-Depression New York there were myriad rules. And that’s the picture the book Rules Of Civility strives to paint about a girl with gumption who falls for a boy of means. It’s fizzy and fun, depicting jazz age New York, and it delves deeper than typical flapper gal stereotypes. All is not as it seems in the fizzy champagne.

It’s an examination of social class, social striving and the emptiness even the most glittering of shells hides. It’s interesting, but it doesn’t grab you by the heart. Because at its heart it’s about a relationship between a girl and her fella, and this part doesn’t quite ring true. (It’s by Amor Towles and available for around $11 on amazon.)

 

I liked it, but it wasn’t unputdownable, which is what my current read is turning out to be. In The Garden Of The Beasts is a non-fiction account of one American family’s experience in Berlin when Hitler first assumed control of Germany. I don’t love non-fiction. I don’t love history books. But this one is different. It goes into enough detail that you feel like you’re there. And it helps answer the question that’s been asked so many times since the days of Hitler’s reign: Why didn’t people see the evil that was coming and stop him before it started?                                                  

There’s a phrase “the banality of evil”. It means that evil seldom marches in, trumpeted by horns. Instead it creeps in subtly, through small actions and choices. This book is a riveting account of those actions and their tragic cost.(By Erik Larson; available on amazon. com for around $11.)  

Other book recommends:

- The Dogstars – Hig is a pilot in a post-Apocalyptic world where almost everyone has died from a flu epidemic. It’s a story about what makes Hig survive. It’s not his gun-toting neighbor, but the humanity Hig rediscovers in his own soul. 

- The Watchers – My friend Pam says it’s positively Da Vinci Code-ish.

- The Story of Beautiful Girl – If you liked the book Memory Keeper’s Daughter from a few years ago, you’ll like this one. A baby is born and left with a widowed school teacher on her farm. What does she do with the newborn? Why was the infant left? The answer is exoneration and indictment both.