What You Can't Say To Your Kids

At 6 a.m. this morning the 10 year old opened with this… 

“Mommy, why’d you say that bad word in the middle of the night?”

“You mean when you showed up like a ninja by the side of my bed and I thought you were an axe-murderer?” 

I didn’t actually say this. Although this is exactly what happened. And I had the racing heart and wide awake brain as proof from 2 a.m. to 3 a.m.

Here’s the thing: If I say this, it will introduce the 10 year old to the concept of axe murderers. This will likely disrupt her sleep pattern even further in nights to come. Nothing good can be gained from fear of axe murders in the night. Me and my midnight potty mouth are living proof.

 So I say nothing and offer some zucchini bread as distraction. Before I had kids I would never have guessed this would be my most popular, go-to parenting strategy. But it totally is. Dr. Spock and the humble zucchini: getting guru girl through parenthood.  

Illustration: By the 7 year old. It is supposed to be me and some zucchini bread. You will see a lot of kid illustrations on the blog this summer vacation. Because we're only 2 days in & I already need extra activities for them!