What Not To Get Your Mother

What I Don’t Want For Mother’s Day

 

1.      Breakfast in bed.

 It’s messy. It consists of really fattening stuff. It happens early. The trifecta of bad.

2.    Bubble bath. Hello, urinary tract infection?

3.    Perfume. Because small children have the same taste in perfume as they do in gum. Want to smell like a walking stick of sickly sweet Juicy Fruit? Request perfume for Mother’s Day.  

4.    Lotion. Unless the family’s also arranged for a guest appearance by Gunner or Deacon to apply the lotion to me, this item suffers from the same rep as fruit baskets: Not. Very. Fun.

 

5.     Candles. Unless they are handcrafted and unintentionally very, very funny, like this one that the 10 year old made last year.

 

Wow. This list sounds kind of snarky. That’s probably because it is.

Let’s be clear: I love the handmade gifts I’ve gotten for Mother’s Day over the years (especially the candle above). I love the thought and care my kids and fella put into store-bought gifts too. But I could love the store-bought gifts so much more if they never consisted of candles, lotion, perfume or bubble bath.

Tune in for my next post about the non-budget-busting Mother’s Day gifts moms really want, like the hand-drawn picture of the family pictured above.