What I Want: A Hologram & Sundance's Cosmic Sandals

So this week’s big news was Michael Jackson’s appearance at the Billboard Music Awards on Sunday night. He sang. He danced. He made those weird, guttural grunting noises like always. 

How is it that celebrities like Jackson have figured out ways to get out of everything bad in life? DUI’s, wrinkles, even death.

Because Michael Jackson has been dead for awhile but his hologram image was alive and kicking on Sunday. It was a little creepy but also effective.

So although I am generally anti-technology, I too would like a hologram. It can represent me at all the places I am expected to be in this month of  chaos. Soccer games and parties, music and dance recitals, end of school field trips and celebrations.

It would be easy to make Hologram Guru Girl. All she would have to do is smile and nod. Because generally this is all I do at these events.

Especially when I’m sitting next to the soccer coach who is detailing elaborate soccer defense strategy. I am the parent who, after 5 years, is still a little unclear on the position of my own player, much less anyone else on the team.

Last week, at a barbecue, conversation turned to junk bonds. Junk bonds, I tell you. Just smile and nod.

This is also what I did last night, at the school musical where the 11 year old made her musical debut as a dancing spoon. It was tough to tell her apart from all the other dancing cutlery. But I was there in the audience.

Smiling. Nodding. And wearing cute sandals.

These are my new favorites because they’re almost as versatile as Guru Girl in May. They can be sporty or artsy. About the only thing they are not is junk bond chic. So I may not have my own personal hologram.

Yet.

But I do have cute sandals that take my multitasking, non-hologramed self all the places I need to go. (Available for around $90 at Sundance.)

Happy summer, guru girls & guys!

The Franco Brothers, "Neighbors" & Pycnogenol: 3 Very Good Things

Guru girl is a sniffling mess these days. Is it a cold? Is it allergies? Who can tell the difference?

It’s like James Franco and his brother. They are practically exactly the same. Except one is starring in that great new movie “Neighbors”, which I hope to see in theaters next weekend.

And the other is taking naked selfies and posting them on Instagram. So while the two look very similar, they are actually very different.

But back to the cold versus allergies topic. I am hoping I have allergies. Because suffering a cold in springtime is the absolute worst. But, just in case it is a cold, I am off to the vitamin store to procure some of this miracle supplement I just read about: Pycnogenol.

This handy, little vitamin cuts cold symptoms practically in half -- from 7 days down to 4 days! And it fixes up your wrinkles and  jet lag. I need no antidote for my jet-setting ways but the rest of it? Heck yes!

Pycnogenol is made from French pine bark. It appears I can’t have springtime in Paris, but I can have springtime with some pine bark from Paris. It’s a close second (again, like James Francos’ brother).

To make your cold recovery even faster, take this trifecta (according to health researchers):

-         30 mg of Zinc

-         200 mg of Vitamin C

-         100 mg of Pycnogenol

Take these babies daily from the start of symptoms for the next 5 days. You’ll be kissing your cold goodbye and your fella hello. (Pycnogenol is available from your local health food store or amazon.com for around $25 per jar.)

Happy springtime to you and your non-stuffy, sneezy, achy head, guru girls & guys!

The Modern Love Note In 2 Easy Steps

Mirror, mirror, on the wall. Who has the most embarrassing mother of all? Am sure this is not what the 11 year old is asking herself in this pic. 

The Kissing Fairy is retiring soon.

Because she has officially gone from making the Dynamic Duo feel loved to making them feel embarrassed.

So the Kissing Fairy is hanging up her wings, which means no longer shall she exclaim,” Does anyone hear that?” before erupting in kissy noises and swooping down on the Dynamic Duo.

But the girls still need to know they’re loved. What is a Kissing Fairy to do? 

Adopt the mirror love bomb, of course!

Instead of mortifying your offspring with public displays of affection, be passive aggressive about it! Scrawl your sweet nothings on a mirror with a dry erase marker. *Bonus!* The writing disappears from the mirror with a quick swipe of Kleenex – unlike lipstick writing, which is too messy and Fatal Attraction-y to qualify for this kind of wholesome exercise in love.

Mirror love bomb that special someone today!

3 Great Book Recommends & Good Reads website

This is me on overload or perhaps this is me cleverly thinking up yet another password for yet another account. 

I am on password overload. The passwords -- for my social media & shopping providers alone -- would fill a phone book.

For Manhattan.

Some people use the same password for everything. I resisted this impulse, believing that if hackers got one password they would then have free and easy access to everything in my life.

And they can have my Target account, but my Wine Country Gift Baskets, J. Crew and Safe Splash Swimming? Not gonna happen.

These accounts are all encrypted with different passwords, passwords so secret not even their owner can remember – or use – them.

I am so irritated by this whole password issue that for months I refused to join one more thing.

And then, not one, but three different people told me about “Good Reads”. It is a website that, of course, requires a password. This site lets you connect with your reader friends. You list and rate the books you’ve currently read. You get to see what your friends have read and recommend. Click this link to check it out. goodreads.com

I like this idea a lot. Because in addition to never being able to remember my passwords I’m also never able to remember the books I’ve recently read. So when someone asks me for a recommendation I’m usually struck dumb.

This leads the person to believe “Us Weekly” is the only thing I read on a regular basis. While it is true this is my favorite reading material, it is not my only reading material. I also read a lot of literary fiction, self help and 5^th grade book reports.

Here are some recent reads I recommend. (Kindly note none of them are about the solar system.)

1.      Code Name Verity by Elizabeth Wein

This Young Adult book is about 2 plucky heroines in World War II. One is a pilot, the other, a spy. The book is about friendship, loyalty and courage under fire. It’s also about torture and the unthinkable choices war forces on even the most irrepressible of teenagers.

2.    The Golem & The Jinni by Helene Wecker

Picture New York City circa 1910 and the masses of new immigrants arriving daily. Now imagine some of them aren’t human. One is a genie, recently emancipated from his bottle. The other is a young lady, constructed magically from earth and wishes.

These two have got new immigrant problems and then some.So do all their neighbors and friends. It’s a multi-layered story that stays grounded in very human questions of love and belonging, despite its otherworldly plot.

3.    Still Points North by Leigh Newman–

This is a memoir about the author’s fractured Alaskan childhood. It lures us in with a National Geographic outdoor adventure angle. The author shares plenty of suspenseful Girl versus Tundra adventures.

But it’s the story about the author’s search for identity and belonging that really grips us.

Happy reading, guru girls & guys. And check out Good Reads. May the site be good enough to make the password ordeal worth it!

3 Design Rules For A House With Style

I am paralyzed with indecision.

This is unusual for me. We need a rug in the mud room. I love the stripes, the nautical look (and the price!) of this one from Home Decorators. (It's $53 for a runner, people. $53 with no shipping charges!)

But alas, the rug sports lots of white.

This pic is of our current mudroom rug, complete with the dog hair it attracts and shows off like Leonardo DiCaprio and supermodels. 

Clearly, white is a problem for us here at Guru Girl Enterprises.

So, uncharacteristically, I am resisting the Siren call of online shopping, and I am remembering design tips I’ve learned the hard way.

Design Rules*

(*for a Family Friendly House With Style)

1.      Pick durable materials. 

     No silk shantung or linen.

Anywhere.

Ever.

For my mudroom, an outdoor rug with its bulletproof material is the way to go. There are some great looking ones out there. (Ballard Designs & Cost Plus are my favorite sources.)

2.   Be disciplined with color choice.

For foolproof decorating, choose 2 main colors for big furniture and 2 or 3 accent colors for accessories.

Limit yourself to this color palette in all you buy, and your house will suddenly reflect the ineffable “flow” of a swanky hotel. (Minus those gross, morning-after, room service trays left in the hall.)

At Guru Girl Enterprises our main colors are brown and golden yellow. Accents are crimson and a dusty blue, with the occasional hit of orange.

So for me this rule means the mudroom rug should be brown or yellowish with maybe a pattern in crimson, blue or orange.

3.     Pick a style and stick to it. 

     No decorating the kitchen in French Country, the family room in Boho Chic and the bedroom in Hollywood Glam.

This rule means the nautical rug I love is out. Because there is nothing else beachy casual about my house. I’ve got more of a rustic, Pottery Barn vibe going on. That style should inform my design choices, even down to the mudroom rug.

Phew. “Guru Girl, this is a lot of thought just for a rug purchase,” you’re thinking.

It’s true that at first, this thought process is time intensive, but it soon becomes second nature (like burrito wrapping a baby).

Then, it actually saves you time, money and sanity. (Unlike that burrito wrapped baby who, although cute, also costs you all of the above.)

Imagine, the next time you’re at Ikea, overwhelmed by the choices. But unlike the mad lemming shoppers all around, you resist the impulse buy. Instead, you think of your design rules and make the informed choice.

And presto! You bypass bad decorating, shopper’s guilt and the annoying exchange process. Return home, burrito wrap yourself in your favorite blanket and enjoy your favorite design show on t.v.

Happy decorating, guru girls & guys!

1 Shoe To Put Pep In Your Step: The Lillian Suede Low Wedge

I missed the MTV Movie Awards last night. I have, in fact, missed the entire network for the last 6 months. Don’t even know what channel MTV’s on anymore.

As far as pop culture betrayals go, this is big. Like Gwyneth-And-That-Coldplay-Guy-Break Up big. Because I thought MTV and I were going to go the distance.

Apparently, no. But here’s a relationship I’d bet on instead: guru girl and the J.Crew low wedge. Because it has all 3 things a spring shoe should feature:

1.      A beige color. (Elongates the leg and goes with everything.)

2.    A low heel. (Easier to walk in because there’s a little height but not so much height that you’re teetering.)

3.    A casual style. (Looks great but not like you’re trying too hard.)

Like a rock star who also does yoga, this shoe checks all the boxes a girl could want. (Unless the girl is a movie star and not very open to the whole groupie thing.)

So, this shoe is, in fact, better than your average rock star because it will make you look great, feel great and the only medical issue it will make you fear are blisters. (Click this link to go to jcrew.com to see the lillian suede low wedge, available for around $129.99.)

The "Must Have" Spring Wardrobe Pick*

The "Must Have" Spring Wardrobe Pick*

*bigger than Kim Kardashian's "Vogue" cover. Not an, ahem, small task. 

Like Kerry Washington and her preggo tummy, I am also fairly bursting… with great fashion ideas.

Had you concerned for a minute there, didn’t I? No, no. The baby shop is closed here at guru girl but the fashion shop remains open, open, open! Especially since I read many a fashion mag over spring break.

Here is my favorite spring fashion pic: this versatile motorcycle jacket. Available for only $78 at Kohl’s. It’s true! Runway designer Peter Som has unleashed his beachy chic clothes on strip malls across America.

Throw this lightweight jacket on over a dress for an instant edgy yet casual vibe. It’s also the perfect topper for boyfriend jeans and a body skimming tee.

Think of this as the classy version of your favorite jean jacket and wear accordingly. May you be as fashion forward as our favorite “Scandal” vixen. Minus the “must save the free world” scowl.