Bring On The Glow: Get This

This weekend the unthinkable happened. I beat my fella at tennis. I did it by employing this tricky and easily replicated strategy:

1)     Take 6 months of lessons compared to his 1 month

2)   Wear a shamelessly short tennis skirt

It was like taking candy from a baby, as they say! So today I am sharing another tricky and easily replicated strategy. This one’s for how to add that extra sparkle to your home.

Twinkle lights! Wind them around candles. Nestle them in greenery. The sky’s the limit.

These little numbers are great because they’re battery operated so you’re not stuck disguising an ugly cord. And you can put them anywhere.

Perhaps as a crown around one’s tennis visor for twilight play? Talk about distraction!

The only way these twinklers could be better is if they also played music. Then, like the baseball boys, I’d program them with my very own walk up song: “She’s A Bad Mama Jama”.

And I would not lose a tennis game to Guru Guy again. Ever.

For bragging rights off the court, go get these twinkle lights. You’ll “love” them. (That pun was bad, I know. Almost as bad as bragging that you beat your husband at tennis. “Love” you, TN1970;) (Click this link to go to joann.com where you can buy a string of lights for $3.99. Or visit your local Joann Fabric Store.)

The "Gotta Get" Jacket For Spring: Old Navy Field Jacket

I’ve never met an army coat I didn’t like. Or an army fella. That last part is not actually true. My military field of weakness? Air Force. This was when I was young and dumb (which no, was not last week) and susceptible to a snappy uniform. And anything reminiscent of “Top Gun”.

I am still susceptible to a snappy outfit. But I see through the “Top Gun” mystique. Ice Man is now old and enormous. And we’re not even sure which team Maverick plays for.

The allure of that darn movie was all Hollywood smoke and mirrors!

But the allure of this army coat is not Hollywood smoke and mirrors. It’s legitimately great. It fits cute. It’s versatile. It’s the perfect weight for spring. The trifecta of good!

This will be the item you reach for constantly. It gives so many outfits the perfect finishing touch. Like an Air Force fella on your arm, back in the day. Only the coat is even better because it won’t make you watch boring, action movies, and it’ll go to poetry readings without complaint! Also, it only costs $44.(Click this link to go to oldnavy.com to get more information about the Women's Canvas Field Jacket.)

Happy spring shopping, guru girls & guys!

What's Better Than Spray Tan? The Spray Grip!

Spring is in the air, and you know what that means at chez guru.

Spray painting! I have no fewer than 5 spray paint projects in the works: a wicker chair, a basket and some giant picture frames.

My pointer finger already has PTSD, and I haven’t even started yet.

This is the only bad part of spray painting. Trigger finger overuse.

Symptoms in finger: uncontrollable shaking and dull ache you’re aware of, um, all the time.

It’s like being stuck on a ski lift in the middle of a blizzard. Shaking and aching, with the occasional spasm of complete and total terror.

Possibly this is why I spray paint more than I ski. And now those geniuses over at Rust-Oleum have negated the painting downside for me.

They invented the Spray Can Grip Handle. This little gizmo does away with trigger finger forever! You pop it on top of the paint can and use any finger you like to control the spray.

Hot dog! I’m ordering some up by the case load. Because it’s so cheap ($3.29 each), it’s basically free. My fella might quibble with my math here, but he will not be quibbling with my math when he sees all the money I save by giving our old stuff new life. With spray paint! (Click this link to go to amazon.com to order some up.)

Happy DIY-ing and Huck-Finn-ing your friends & family into “helping” you, guru girls & guys!

The HoloLens &The Ben Affleck Of Plants

  

This just in: Microsoft has a fab, new product called the HoloLens headset. Pop it on your head and hologram images are projected onto your actual surroundings. You can see, hear and interact with them. Like those creepy 3D rides at Disneyworld.

As soon as I get my HoloLens I’m going to dial up some Ben Affleck. Because I love him already. And I would love him even more if I could conjure him up at will. I’m also going to program him to wink and say,” Lookin’ good, guru.”

Goodbye, winter blah’s.

Then I’m going to program my HoloLens to display lush greenery. Plants, waterfalls, grass. Anything but snow. Because right now I have enough real world snow to last me, oh, forever.

The big wrench in this plan is the HoloLens doesn’t go on the market until later this year, and it’s gonna be spendy. So my Ben Affleck fantasies are gonna have to wait awhile, but my lush, green fantasies are not.

Because, in the meantime, I’m going to buy a fiddle leaf fig. This is not just a plant. It’s a design world darling. It’s tall and sculptural and gives a room that extra something. Just like Ben Affleck!

And it costs just $20 at your local Home Depot. Apparently it’s also a bit temperamental, but what movie star isn’t? If you put it in a good place (bright, indirect light, preferably in Malibu) and lavish it with care (only water once a week and sponge off its torso, I mean, leaves when dusty), it will reward you with dazzling good looks for years to come.

 Happy plant-buying/winter-survival, guru girls & guys!